This weekend's run was a 16-miler, and I hemmed and hawed about whether I should do it Saturday or Sunday. The forecast called for snow all day Saturday, and frigid temperatures and gusty winds on Sunday.
I was worried about slippery roads from the snow Saturday but as the storm kept getting downgraded, I decided to go for it and got up bright and early to try to get out before the worst of the snow hit.
And I am so, so glad I did. It snowed the whole time - light showers at first, and pretty steadily during the second hour - but it never stuck to the roads, so there was no ice or slush or anything to worry about, and it was about 35 degrees, so not too cold.
Honestly, it was pretty fun. Getting hit in the face with big fat snowflakes took a little getting used to, but once I adjusted to that, it was nice watching the snow fall, and seeing the light dusting of snow on the grass and trees.
I finished the 16 miles feeling good, with an average pace of 8:24, and found myself daydreaming more and more of a sub-3:40 finish at Gansett, and feeling like it's not as much of a pipe dream as I once thought it was.
I'm not saying it's going to be easy, by any means, but based on my tempo runs and my long runs so far this training cycle, I think I have it in me.
I took a completely new route Saturday, which was refreshing. And after having some company on my last few long runs, I was actually kind of excited to run solo and listen to music, and it was a nice change. I love having company for the really long runs, but the solitude can be nice, too.
This weekend was also almost the end of the 10-Day Family Re-Charge. All of the communication and ideas have been so wonderful, and I've appreciated and am working on absorbing all of them, and will continue to do so, even though the program has officially ended.
But the day one message is still the one that's resonated most for me, and I had a very vivid reminder of that last night.
We had Scott's dad and a friend over for dinner, which is something we do pretty frequently, and Carmine usually runs over to Granddad and wants to sit with him the entire time he's here. He LOVES his granddad.
Except for last night.
He flipped out, and was clinging to me, and wouldn't go over to see Granddad for anything in the world. He was alternating between seeming nervous, and then laughing and being silly. But there was no way he was going to visit with our guests, and he had no intention of letting me visit with them, either.
He was totally off the wall in other ways, too - yelling, throwing toys, and just generally running around like a nut. I managed to get him calmed down enough to sit at the table and eat a few bites of food, and I was able to inhale my dinner, and then he started acting up again.
I had been getting increasingly agitated and frustrated, and feeling completely at my wit's end.
But instead of giving into that and getting angrier and more frustrated, I simply plucked him out of his seat and took him in the living room.
We sat on the floor, I took out his Little People pirate ship, and we sat there and played with it for half an hour while everyone else ate their dinner.
Then for the next half hour, while everyone else ate dessert, we covered up with a blanket and laid down on the floor and pretended to go "neh-nee."
I almost forgot anyone else was there, and it was one of the most fun hours I've ever spent with my little boy. It was so awesome to just sit and watch him play, and see how he figured things out - and how captivated he was by just one simple toy. And how his eyes lit up when I was laying on the floor next to him and reached over to give him a hug.
Because he was feeling so overwhelmed, or nervous, or scared, or whatever it was he was feeling, I knew I couldn't get up to do anything else. I couldn't get distracted by having to clean up the kitchen, or fold laundry, or get on my computer.
I had to stay right where I was, and devote my full attention to that moment and that cute, funny, amazing little 2-year-old boy, and instead of making me feel restless, it made me relieved.
It was such a treat to not feel like I was being pulled in three different directions. It was like I had pressed a pause button, and everything else fell away, and I was happy to see it go.
We laughed, we giggled, we hugged, and we chatted, and I completely forgot about how he had been 'ruining' my evening.
Sure, I missed out on socializing with our guests. But I gained so much in return.
I am so very glad I'm here.