Humbled

I've been on such a high following my tremendous month of July races and marathon training - PRs, fabulous training runs, successful track workouts.....  it felt like I could do no wrong.

That all changed today, with one of the worst runs I've had in a long, long time.

The schedule called for 20 miles at a 9:08 pace. I really wasn't intimidated, and was feeling pretty good when I headed out. I got a decent night's sleep last night, and I really took it easy last week, so I felt like I was sufficiently recovered from last weekend's races.

And although it was horribly humid, it was relatively cool - in the mid-70s - with a steady, light rain, so the weather wasn't really that unfavorable.

And the first part of the run actually went very well. I was on pace, and feeling good. I was getting pretty wet, but the rain doesn't bother me, especially when it's not a downpour, which this definitely was not. I took a gel and drank some water at mile 5, and stopped for a bathroom break, too.

Mile 5 - 10 felt good. I was heading down toward the beach, and the road was mostly flat, so all was well. There was a little bit of a headwind, but it wasn't slowing me down, and I was still doing a good job with my pacing. A few miles were a little faster than planned, but I was still staying right around 9-minute miles.

I started to feel a little tired during miles 10 - 13, and my stomach wasn't feeling too happy, either. I had taken my second gel at mile 10, and I was dreading having to take my third one, as I knew it was not going to go down easy. But I also knew I'd need it if I wanted to get through those final miles.

Miles 14 - 16 were the worst of the entire run. I was hurting bad. My knees ached, my feet hurt, my quads and calves felt tight, I felt blisters forming on my right foot, and my stomach was still feeling a bit off - not terrible, but not great, either.

Even though I wasn't looking forward to forcing down that gel at mile 15, I was still happy to hit the 15-mile mark, because it meant I could stop for a minute to get the gel in, drink some water, and make another bathroom stop. The gel sucked - blech - but the break was definitely welcome, and I felt a little better as I started back up again.

Miles 16 - 18 actually felt ok, and I was feeling a little more positive about finishing this thing up.

Then came mile 19 and 20, and all I can say is OUCH! I have never felt so sore and achy during a run. And I was so exhausted, and my stomach was still not happy, and I was getting kind of tired of being wet (I had now been out in the rain for nearly 3 hours!), and all I wanted was to be home.

I got through it, though. Mile 19 was my slowest, at 9:22, but for mile 20 I managed to get back up to a 9:06 pace, ending up with an average 9:03 pace for the entire 20 miles. It sucked, but I got it done.

I was so relieved to hit the stop button on my Garmin and walk the final half-mile uphill to my house. It was a looooooooong half-mile walk, though, and I seriously said "ow" out loud a few times as I walked.

With a combination of stretching, laying flat on the ground, stretching some more, taking a hot shower, and finally being able to eat some real food, I started to feel better about an hour or so after getting home.

As I was struggling during the last few miles, I was trying to figure out why I was feeling so bad, and I think there were three contributing factors -

1. I need new shoes. The only time I ever get achy knees is when my shoes are getting worn out. And I think my achy knees threw off my stride just enough that everything else started to hurt, too.

2. I may have been a little dehydrated. Since it wasn't super hot, I wasn't in the mindset of making myself drink a lot of water. I still drank quite a bit, but I don't think it was enough, and I think that had a lot to do with why my stomach was so unsettled. My last 20-miler, I drank a ton of water, and had no stomach issues at all. 

3. Even though I had an easy week, I think my legs still were not 100% recovered from last weekend's race-stravaganza. Maybe I should have skipped one of the runs I did mid-week, and replaced it with a swim or something. I felt well-rested this morning, but the fact that this long run took so much more out of me than any other one I've done thus far leads me to believe that my body needed a little more rest and recovery time.

So, a few lessons learned this morning - which is good, because that's what these training runs are for. Obviously they're to get your body prepared to literally go the distance, but they're also essential practice runs, and opportunities to test out nutrition and hydration, and to test your mental preparedness, too.

There were a lot of thoughts running through my head as I ran this morning, and they were not happy thoughts. I've been feeling so good about my training so far, and I can honestly say that this was the first time I had serious doubts about being able to get my BQ.

I've mostly shaken off those doubts now that I'm refueled and rehydrated, and resting comfortably with my feet up.

But I'm not going to forget how it felt to have those thoughts, because as much as it sucked, I also learned what to do when I'm feeling that way - feeling like I just wasn't going to make it; like I wanted nothing more than to stop and walk; feeling like this was all so ridiculous, and what was the point anyway?

When those thoughts kept creeping in, it took everything I had to push them out, but I did it. I pushed them out and replaced them with thoughts of marathon finish lines, and big red numbers on a clock reading 3:40.

And I didn't stop. I didn't walk. I didn't give up.

Because as absurd as it may seem to spend 3 hours running in the rain, it's all leading somewhere, and on the way, it's showing me that I'm stronger than I ever knew I was.

And if I can call up that inner strength at the end of a very long, very tough run, I know I can call it up at other times, too.

I was humbled by today's run, but inspired, too. There will always be moments of doubt, but I have 10 more weeks to practice and perfect my response to those moments. By the time race day comes around, I'll be a pro : )

Comments

[Wes]

nice run. that's almost my race pace :-) don't be a slave to the digits. Some days you'll be on the plus side, some on the minus.