Scott is returning today from a business trip to Las Vegas. Yesterday Dante was looking out the window, daydreaming, and I asked him what he was thinking about, and he said "Oh, I was just thinking about how much fun Daddy must be having right now." If only he knew.....
Gabe told us today that he's "more into the Christmas spirit this year. It's not just all about the presents, you know." Wish he had told me that before I went out and spent all that money on gifts for him.
Carmine is talking nonstop these days, but still has so many words that he mispronounces, or just totally makes up his own version of the word, and I love remembering those, so I want to write them down while I'm thinking of them. Night-night is neh-nee. Goodnight Moon (one of his favorite books) is mah-moon. Cookie, donut, chocolate, or any kind of treat is deh-doh. And the sad thing is, we've all started calling it 'deh-doh.' Blanket is beh-beh. Fire truck is feh-veh. And when he was trying to sing "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" today, he sang the abridged version - "head, shoes."
Last night, after eating a few bites of his dinner, he threw some food on the floor, so I took him down from his seat and put his food away. So while the rest of us finished eating, he stood at the end of the table banging a plastic ruler as hard as he could and yelling "bah-joh, bah-joh, bah-joh" over and over and over again - as loud as he could, of course. I tried desparately to ignore him, but after a few minutes, I lost it and started laughing.
I really think we need to set up a videocamera during one of our normal weeknight dinners, just to capture the utter insanity of it all.
I went for a 5-mile run this morning, and it was, as most of my runs have been lately, awesome. I meant to run at an easy pace, and that ended up being 8:18. I truly wasn't pushing myself, and barely looked at my Garmin in between the one-mile splits.
As much as I told myself that I didn't want to get hung up on a specific time goal for Gansett, and as much as I said I didn't want to go through another punishing program of crazy intense speedwork and put myself under a lot of pressure, I also can't help feeling like I could potentially shave a few minutes off my Hartford finishing time of 3:43.
I feel pretty confident that I can get the 3:40 I was going for in Hartford. And my heart skips a beat when I allow my mind to go there, but I sometimes think I might even be able to come in under 3:40.
I know a 5-mile run is a far cry from a marathon, but overall I'm just feeling stronger and healthier than ever, and every time I go for a run, I feel like I can go farther and faster. It feels like my legs are on autopilot, and they just want to keep going, going, going. It's taking a lot of work to keep my mileage at a reasonable level, and to stick to my 3-day-a-week plan.
I also know that, once I am in the thick of training again, some of this optimism and this feeling of invincibility are going to get pushed aside by the doubts and the anxiety that are sure to rear their ugly heads. But I know that's part of the process, and I know how to work through it.
And one of my tools for overcoming those doubts will be to remember these few months, when I was still basking in the glow of my BQ achievement, and simultaneously having the most fun running that I've ever had in my life.
No pressure, no plan, no playlist - just me and my thoughts flying over the pavement - always ready to tack on another mile, and see what's around the next turn in the road, and to greet it with a smile.