Pause. Integrate. Rest. Words that aren't a big part of my vocabulary.
I'm not a person who does well with quiet time. Sure, I enjoy when the kids are asleep at night and the house is quiet, but I'm rarely still. I'm rarely able to sit and do nothing, or even less than one thing.
I generally have at least two or three things going at once, and while I'm working on those things, I'm thinking about what I'll do next, and what I'll do tomorrow, and where I'll be signing the boys up for summer camp this year, and what weekend we're going to schedule Gabe's birthday party for......
So today's message was perfect. It's one I hear often, but I still struggle with putting it into practice.
Pause. Integrate. Rest.
The first 4 days of this program have given me so much to think about, and so many ideas to ponder. They're all wonderful ideas - very inspiring, very moving, very thought-provoking - but it's been a lot to add to the mix that's already swirling around my type-A brain on a daily basis.
I'm constantly looking ahead, constantly on the hunt for new ideas - some to keep our family more organized, some to promote better behavior from the boys, and some just for fun (search Pinterest for kids crafts, and before you know it, you will have pinned an entire year's worth!).
I don't think this is a bad thing. What family couldn't use more organization, better behavior, and more fun? And being on the hunt for new ideas/approaches is what led me to the 10-Day Recharge, which is definitely a good thing : )
But sometimes I get too caught up in all that, and I forget what Erin reminded us of today in her audio message. These are the words that I felt the most:
"You are enough."
Systems, rewards, special activities aside - what my boys need most is ME.
As I thought about this, I thought about my own parents and my own childhood, which was beyond wonderful. I remember lots of specific fun stuff from childhood - day trips, holidays, cookouts with friends and cousins, summer days spent splashing in the pool or running around the backyard.
But even if I didn't remember all those things, I'd remember a feeling. The feeling that I was special, and loved, and that no matter what I did, or what happened, my family would always, always, always be there for me.
I always say that I hope to be half as good a mom to my boys as my mom was to us, and I never really thought about it before, but I think when I say that, what I mean is that I want to create that feeling of love, and warmth, and togetherness.
When Gabe and Dante and Carmine grow up, I want them to remember all the fun stuff, all the memories we've created. But mostly I want them to have that same feeling I have.
And it doesn't take any money or special system or fancy reward to give them that. It just takes me.
Thank you for the reminder, Erin : )