Me and The Boys

Back To School, Back To Running, Back To PT

Gabe came downstairs Monday morning and asked sleepily "So what are we doing today?"  I felt bad having to tell him that it was Monday, and he was going back to school. He still loves school, but he does seem to be getting to the age where he enjoys the breaks and complains a little about having to get back to reality.

Dante was raring to go, though, and when they got home from school Monday afternoon, he wouldn't stop talking. Not that that's anything unusual for him, but his nonstop chatter was even more pronounced than usual.

Carmine, after just two days of having me all to himself again, became completely possessive last night - when Gabe tried to sit next to me on the couch, Carmine (who was sitting on the other end of the couch) jumped up, launched himself over Gabe and onto my lap, yelling "NO!  MY MOMMY!"  Luckily Gabe just thought the whole thing was hysterical.

Carmine and I are also back to our gym routine, which he's happy about. He runs around the house as we're getting ready, yelling "gym, gym, gym, gym!"

I'm happy about it, too. Only working out a few times last week was a nice little respite for me, and one I think I really needed, but it's been nice to get back to our regularly scheduled programming : ) 

The week off from running seems to have been just what the doctor ordered, too. (knock on wood) My 18-mile run Sunday went great. I ran 7.5 miles to the beach, met up with some women from the running club, ran 5 miles with them, and then ran the final 5.5 by myself.

Having company for the middle of the run was a great way to break it up. It was a little tough getting those final miles done alone, after having company for that long stretch, but I put my iPod back on and that helped keep me moving. Finished in 2 hours and 35 minutes, for an average 8:40 pace - very pleased!

Good news - the arch pain that I had been experiencing is gone completely. Such a relief.

However, after I ran Sunday - not during the run, only after - I felt some pain on the top of my right foot. It wasn't severe, but it was definitely noticeable, and I was a little concerned. But I was scheduled to go to PT Monday morning anyway, so I just iced it a bit and hoped for the best. And as the day went on, it was gradually feeling better.

My PT visit was just a check-in on my left shin. It hasn't really been bothering me, but I've been popping into PT periodically since I started to ramp up my mileage, to make sure that it doesn't start to give me any trouble. But since that's been feeling completely fine, we worked on the right foot yesterday instead.

It was already feeling loads better, but she did some massage and stretching and some cold laser treatment, and did a few tests, and said it seemed like just some tendon/muscle inflammation, and that it didn't seem like something that should become a big issue.

Happily, she seems to have been right. It feels great now, even after my 8-mile run this morning. Hopefully another catastrophe averted.

These little aches and pains and almost-injuries that have been cropping up are definitely a sign, I think, that I am pushing my body to its limits. And if I wasn't training for a race, I'd back off for a few weeks.

But - fingers crossed - I think if I continue my periodic PT visits, and stay on top of my stretching (and icing, when necessary), I can get through these last few weeks of training without a major mishap.

I also know, though, that I'm not going to try to train through something and risk getting really, really hurt. No race is worth that. I have a lot of fun races planned for this summer, and I want to be able to run them all! So I will continue to train, but I will also continue to listen very carefully to what my body is telling me, and if I surpass the limits I'm currently pushing it to, I will take breaks as needed.

I feel so much less stress about this race than I did about Hartford - it's really refreshing. I want to do well, and I'm working hard to try to meet my goals, but I'm not putting myself under a ton of pressure. I invested so much energy and emotion into my Hartford training - I just don't have it in me to do that this time around.

I'll still push myself, and I'll still get nervous butterflies when I think about race day, but I'm not going to feel terribly disappointed if a training run doesn't go the way I want it to - which is the perfect segue to today's tempo run.

My tempo runs have been the highlight of this training program - the run I looked forward to every week, and the run that's consistently been a huge confidence booster for me.

Today, not so much. I've been doing these 8-mile runs the past few weeks at paces I never imagined possible - 7:24, 7:25, and one week, 7:16!  I was feeling invincible, unstoppable.... 

But today, I fought for every single one of those 8 miles. I felt creaky and sore from the start. As I warmed up, I started to feel better, but I still struggled. And my mile splits showed it - a few were below 7:20, but most were 7:30 or above, and I finished with an average pace of 7:30.

Still a VERY good pace for a tempo run, but far short of the amazing times I've been posting lately.

But I'm completely ok with that. I did what I could, and I gave it my all, and that's what my all was today. And sometimes, you have to just cut yourself a little slack.

The Whole Kit and Kaboodle

I only took one week off from running, and only missed one long run, but that very short hiatus made me realize something. It's not just the actual motion of running that I miss when I'm forced to take time off - it's everything before, during, and after. All the rituals, all the excitement, and even all the pain.

I miss

- obsessively checking the hourly weather forecast the night before my run

- gathering up my gels, water bottle, and iPod, and plugging in my Garmin before I go to bed

- waking up at the crack of dawn and having a cup of coffee and breakfast while everyone else is asleep, savoring the quiet, and watching the sun come up

- getting geared up, and agonizing over whether or not I'm overdressed or underdressed for the weather conditions

- figuring out where I'm going to stash all my gels

- those first few steps, where you wonder what kind of run it's going to be - one of the great ones that you wish would never end, one of the so-so ones, or one of the ones where you're tempted to call home and ask to be rescued

- hearing my favorite songs as I get moving, recollecting all the different races that I've run in while listening to them

- the little beeps from my Garmin as I cross each mile mark

- running through town, peeking in store windows, most of which are empty on my early morning jaunts

- observing how the eery early-morning quiet is slowly edged out by the increased traffic as the morning goes on

- exchanging waves, hellos, and friendly nods with other runners, walkers, and bikers

- being out in the fresh air, even when it's really cold, or rainy, or hot

- the 'sweet spot' of my long runs, which is usually around 6 or  7 miles - that spot where I feel like I could run forever, and I can't help but smile as I make my way down the road, feeling so blessed and so lucky that I'm able to be out there doing what I love

- the last few miles, when I know I'm almost done, and my muscles and joints are screaming at me to stop, and I'm forced to dig down deep and find those last reserves of energy that I know I have in there somewhere

- walking in the house after my run and having Carmine look up at me and smile, and say "Mommy run!"

- hobbling around the kitchen, taking off my iPod and Garmin, putting my phone down, emptying my pockets of unused Gu packets, and taking a moment to revel in what I just accomplished

- stretching sore, achy muscles

- refueling, i.e, EATING!

- downloading and analyzing my Garmin data, and oohing and aahing over my fastest splits, and noticing how I 'barely slowed down at all while charging up that monster hill'

- updating my Facebook status, to let my friends and family know that I just took yet another step towards my marathon goal, and seeing their encouraging words and notes come back at me

- taking a long, hot shower and getting into warm, dry clothes

- spending the rest of the day feeling proud of how tired and sore I am, because it's a sign of how hard I'm working and how dedicated I am

- looking at my training plan to see what's next on the schedule!

Every little piece, every little bit of it - I love it all. It's part of my life, it's who I am, and I can only hope that I get to keep doing it for a long, long, long, long time.

All Systems Go

My foot held up very well during and after a 7-mile run Wednesday morning, so I'll be heading out for my planned 18 tomorrow. I'm still a bit nervous, but hopeful that I'll be ok and can make it through these last weeks of training.

As I write that, and as I updated my Facebook status today, I realized that there are only 7 weeks until I run this marathon!  My training for Hartford seemed to last forever, but this round of training has flown by. I got a huge rush of nervous butterflies when I thought about how soon I'll be out there on the course.

In some ways, I think having the issues with my foot was kind of a blessing in disguise. I would never have chosen to take a week off from training without it, but not running for a week has made me so eager to get out there and run 18 miles tomorrow, and get back to speedwork and tempo runs next week.

And since I wasn't running this week, and it was vacation week with the boys, I ended up having a very light week, workout-wise. Sure, I could have brought them to the gym with me every day, but I kind of felt like I needed a week where I wasn't working out 5 or 6 days, and it was nice to not have our days revolve around my gym time. We were free to do whatever we felt like, whenever we felt like it, and having some lazy mornings was a really, really nice change of pace for all of us.

I still got in a great workout Monday, and did my run Wednesday morning, but that was it. And yes, I do feel a little lazy and icky as a result, but I also feel like it was good for me. I needed a little break, mentally and physically - and I'm definitely ready to get back to it next week!

Vacation week with the boys has been a blast - helped in large part by the fact that the great non-winter of 2011/12 has continued, and we were able to spend large portions of each day outside.

We had a fabulous day roaming the grounds at Mystic Seaport Wednesday, and were able to stop at a playground on the way home to burn off even more energy.  Yesterday we spent the ENTIRE afternoon outside. It was glorious. A bit windy, but nearly 60 degrees!  I was a little bummed that Carmine didn't take a nap, since he didn't have one the day before, either, but it was so great to see him running around the yard chasing after his big brothers, so it was a good tradeoff : )

Our experience with Carmine has been so different from Gabe and Dante in so many ways, but right now most noticeably in that Carmine is talking so much more than either of them were at this age. When Gabe was two, he only had a handful of words, and wasn't even close to putting together sentences, and Dante was about the same.

Carmine, on the other hand - there isn't much that he can't say, and he puts together three- and four-word sentences already!  It's so fun, and such a new experience for us - I just get such a kick out of talking with him.

He still has his funny mispronunciations - blanket is "buh-buh," apple juice is "at choo," pillow is "puh-puh," Gabe is "Gee," Dante is "dah-dah," finger is "feh-feh," and poop is "poot."  He also learned a while ago what a wedgie is, and likes to walk around pulling at the seat of his pants saying "weh-wee, weh-wee."    

But more often than not, it's very, very clear what he's saying, and he so often makes me giggle. Grammy got him some Buzz Lightyear toys for his birthday, and I noticed that instead of just calling him "Buzz," he calls him "Buzz Woody." And every time he sits down now, he informs me that he's  "sittin', bum," I guess because I'm always telling him to sit down on his bum. And there's nothing cuter than seeing him hop up on the couch, pat the cushion next to him, and say "Mommy, come sittin."

And I have no idea if it's impressive for his age or not, but I'm personally kind of impressed that he sort of knows some numbers already. He can't count, but if you say a string of numbers, he'll chime in with "one, two, three," so he gets that those are numbers and they're related. He likes to play rockets, too - he'll countdown "Five, two, blastoff!" 

Our biggest source of pride, though, is the fact that at least 65% of the time, he can now nicely say "hep pee" (help please) instead of just screaming when he wants something. That other 35%, with all the screaming, is still somewhat frustrating, but progress is progress. Baby steps, as they say.....

Vacation

The boys are on vacation from school this week, and we started things off with a bang - one of their cousins came over Saturday and they had a sleepover, complete with movie night, popcorn, candy, and tons of time playing outside (this truly has been the winter that wasn't).

Sunday was slightly quieter, but yesterday we were back at it, with a trip to visit family in CT. As always, a busy day, but a fabulous one. One of my favorite parts of the day was on the drive there, when Gabe and Dante and I were all singing along to "Yellow Submarine." It's so awesome to be able to share great music with them.

As I posted on Facebook last night, my least favorite part of the day was when Carmine woke up on the ride home last night - we were still 15 minutes away from our house, and he was not happy.

Luckily Gabe had the idea to play the "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse" theme song for him. It was a great idea, and it totally worked - all eight times that we listened to it. Not the most fun 15 minutes of my life, but I'd rather listen to that than to Carmine crying, so it was worth it.

Today was three days in one - Backwards Day, Pajama Day, and Do-Nothing Day. Quesadillas and chips for breakfast, snacks at lunchtime, and we're planning blueberry pancakes for dinner. The boys have been in their PJs all day, including when we went to the store to pick up a few things for our breakfast dinner : ) 

Aside from that trip to the store, the day has been very low-key. Too much tv time, and too much Wii time, but also plenty of fun, creative play, so I think we've struck a good balance. 

Their favorite part of the day was this morning, when I rearranged the furniture to create a big tent. They played in there for most of the morning, pretending it was a boat. They gathered pillows, blankets, and stuffed animals, and sailed away. 

After a short while, it evolved into a fishing game. I tied string to (unsharpened) pencils, taped a magnet to the end of the string, cut fish shapes out of construction paper, and attached a paper clip to each fish. They leaned off the edge of the couch and caught tons of fish for their dinner on the boat.

And when it was time for lunch, I served it up inside the tent, complete with an LED lantern for light, so they'd have the full 'camping' experience. They even had to fend off the wild critters - our fat cat, who was looking for them to drop stuff she could eat.

It's been a really fun day. Lots of giggling, and lots of fun memories. 

Oh, and I haven't run in exactly a week, and I'm feeling surprisingly ok about it.

My foot feels completely fine, and has for several days, but I'm being smart and not rushing it. I was feeling very anxious at first about taking a whole week off, but as the days have gone by, I've realized that I'm doing the right thing, and a week off isn't that big a deal. It felt very strange, though, to not spend three hours running on Saturday morning.

It's not always easy to be a smart runner, but it always pays off in the end.

I'll be back out on the road Thursday, and crossing my fingers that all goes well during the run and that all feels well after the run. If it doesn't, well, I'll cross that bridge when and if I come to it.

I Will Not Run 18 Miles Tomorrow, I Will Not Run 18 Miles Tomorrow....

Not what you'd expect to see as the title of a blog post by someone who's training for (and hoping to PR at) a marathon in 8 weeks.

But my one-and-a-half-year streak of running injury free has come to an end. It was a good streak, and I'm really hoping that this is just a blip - a minor speed bump, if you will - and that I'll start another injury-free streak very soon.

It started after last weekend's long run. A slight achiness in my right foot. I didn't think too much of it - just figured it was some normal post-16-mile soreness.

I had some pain in the top of my foot, and some shin splint sensation as well, which I attributed to having that shoe tied too tightly at the beginning of my long run. In addition to that, the arch of my foot was aching.

I felt it a little bit when I started my Tuesday track workout, but it went away quickly, and again, I thought it was just normal aches and pains. The workout went fine, and I thought I wouldn't have to worry about it anymore.

Then that night, and the following day, it was downright painful. The top of my foot was feeling much better - I am pretty certain that pain was a direct result of too-tight shoelaces, and it's completely gone now - but the arch was not happy at all.

At first I didn't even consider plantar fasciitis, since I had always heard of that described as excrutiating heel pain. This was uncomfortable, but not excrutiating, and not in my heel.

But the more I read, the more I realized that it probably was, in fact, PF, about which I've heard so many horror stories I've lost count. Stories about not being able to run for months and months; stories about PF being one of the most stubborn, hard to overcome running injuries out there. Sigh.

But as I continued reading, I found some other versions of the story. Versions in which people realized there was a problem right away, and did NOT try to run through it, and were able to get themselves rehabbed relatively quickly, and were not sidelined for ridiculous amounts of time.

I'm sincerely hoping that I will be one of the latter stories. My pain is mild, at best, right now. My foot was sore when I first woke up this morning, but since then I've hardly noticed even a hint of discomfort.

And I've done my research, so I know what I need to do - ice, massage, stretch, take ibuprofen, don't go barefoot, lay face down with my feet hanging off the edge of the bed while I sleep - and I'm doing it all.

What's just as important, though, is what I'm NOT doing. I'm not running.

I skipped my planned 10-mile tempo run on Thursday. And as much as I hate to do it, I'm skipping the 18-miler that's on the schedule for tomorrow.

I know that I could go out and run 18 miles, and probably wouldn't feel any pain while running, but I would be doing some serious damage to my foot, and that's not what I want to do right now. I keep reminding myself that a few missed training runs will not destroy all the progress I've made so far. A training plan is just that - a plan - and sometimes plans have to be altered.

I am holding out hope that I will still be able to run Gansett, and that all I need at this point is to take a week or two off, give this foot some TLC, and then get back out there and finish up my last few weeks of training.

I don't know for certain that that will be the case, and only time will tell. I'm hoping to get in to see my podiatrist next week to get some more information from him, too. But I'm hopeful.

What I'm keeping in mind, though, as I think about how badly I want to get in that long run tomorrow, is that as much as I want to go run 18 miles this weekend (yes, I'm crazy like that), I'd much rather skip this one run than end up having to skip countless other runs a few weeks or months from now.

My body is sending me a very, very clear message, and I am listening.

To Yasso or Not To Yasso?

I've read a bit about Yasso 800s before, but had never tried them, and didn't really know how much stock I put in the idea that you could 'predict' your marathon finish time based on how fast you could run 800m intervals. You could read about them all day long, and never get a definitive answer - some people swear by them, others think it's ridiculous.

I wasn't sure what I thought, but I was curious and wanted to try them, and today was the day.

Unfortunately, I woke up feeling like crap. I've had a head cold for almost two weeks, and it's not enough that I feel really sick, but it's enough to make me a little rundown and certainly enough to be a real nuisance, with the constant congestion and coughing. This morning was actually the worst I've felt, though, and I was really wondering if I was going to run today at all, never mind run a track workout.

As I got up and got moving, though, the fog lifted, and after breakfast I was feeling almost normal (save for the ever-present congestion).

I was not, however, feeling at all motivated. I had read a little more about the Yasso 800s last night, and went to bed feeling so excited to get my workout in, but that excitement and motivation seemed to have vanished overnight.

On the drive to the gym, I kept a running commentary of pep talks going through my head, chief among them being the reminder that if I want to run a good race on April 14th, I've got to put in the work. There's just no way around it.

And miracle of miracles, once I got outside and started moving, my motivation returned. I headed up to my neighborhood track, and got ready.

The theory behind this workout is that you run each 800m interval in the number of minutes/seconds equal to what you hope your marathon finish time will be - for me, that meant running each interval in 3:35.

The first one came in right around 3:30, and I was thrilled. The second one was 3:25. Even better. Third one - 3:23. Fourth one - 3:17! I was really starting to wonder if my Garmin was working correctly. Was I really running 800m intervals at this pace? I worried a bit that I was going too fast, and I'd pay dearly for it on the last few repeats, but at the same time, I felt like if I slowed down, it would feel too easy.

Track workouts are supposed to be hard. They're supposed to push you, and make you count the steps until each repeat is over. So I kept at it, and the rest of the intervals (5 more of them) all came in at 3:23 or faster. The only one that really, really sucked was the 9th one. I was still able to finish it at the same pace, but it hurt a lot more than the previous 8 did.

So, what does this mean in terms of my predicted time for Gansett?  Probably not a lot. I know full well that I am not prepared to run a 3:25 marathon - that's a sub-8:00 mile, for 26.2 miles. I'm just not there (yet).

I think this is an interesting theory, and I think it's a great workout, but I think it's impossible to base a marathon finish time on any one particular workout.

However, based on all my other training runs thus far, and the racing that I've done recently, I do think that a 3:35 marathon is actually a somewhat realistic goal for me right now, and doing my Yasso 800s in 3:25 does give me an extra boost of confidence that I can get to the 3:35 goal.

And it makes me feel much more certain that chances are very good that when I cross the finish line in Gansett, the first two numbers on the clock will both be 3. And that will make me a very happy runner : )

Running and Recharging

This weekend's run was a 16-miler, and I hemmed and hawed about whether I should do it Saturday or Sunday. The forecast called for snow all day Saturday, and frigid temperatures and gusty winds on Sunday.

I was worried about slippery roads from the snow Saturday but as the storm kept getting downgraded, I decided to go for it and got up bright and early to try to get out before the worst of the snow hit.

And I am so, so glad I did. It snowed the whole time - light showers at first, and pretty steadily during the second hour - but it never stuck to the roads, so there was no ice or slush or anything to worry about, and it was about 35 degrees, so not too cold.

Honestly, it was pretty fun. Getting hit in the face with big fat snowflakes took a little getting used to, but once I adjusted to that, it was nice watching the snow fall, and seeing the light dusting of snow on the grass and trees.

I finished the 16 miles feeling good, with an average pace of 8:24, and found myself daydreaming more and more of a sub-3:40 finish at Gansett, and feeling like it's not as much of a pipe dream as I once thought it was.

I'm not saying it's going to be easy, by any means, but based on my tempo runs and my long runs so far this training cycle, I think I have it in me.

I took a completely new route Saturday, which was refreshing. And after having some company on my last few long runs, I was actually kind of excited to run solo and listen to music, and it was a nice change. I love having company for the really long runs, but the solitude can be nice, too.

This weekend was also almost the end of the 10-Day Family Re-Charge. All of the communication and ideas have been so wonderful, and I've appreciated and am working on absorbing all of them, and will continue to do so, even though the program has officially ended.

But the day one message is still the one that's resonated most for me, and I had a very vivid reminder of that last night.

We had Scott's dad and a friend over for dinner, which is something we do pretty frequently, and Carmine usually runs over to Granddad and wants to sit with him the entire time he's here. He LOVES his granddad.

Except for last night.

He flipped out, and was clinging to me, and wouldn't go over to see Granddad for anything in the world. He was alternating between seeming nervous, and then laughing and being silly. But there was no way he was going to visit with our guests, and he had no intention of letting me visit with them, either.

He was totally off the wall in other ways, too - yelling, throwing toys, and just generally running around like a nut. I managed to get him calmed down enough to sit at the table and eat a few bites of food, and I was able to inhale my dinner, and then he started acting up again.

I had been getting increasingly agitated and frustrated, and feeling completely at my wit's end.

But instead of giving into that and getting angrier and more frustrated, I simply plucked him out of his seat and took him in the living room.

We sat on the floor, I took out his Little People pirate ship, and we sat there and played with it for half an hour while everyone else ate their dinner.

Then for the next half hour, while everyone else ate dessert, we covered up with a blanket and laid down on the floor and pretended to go "neh-nee."

I almost forgot anyone else was there, and it was one of the most fun hours I've ever spent with my little boy. It was so awesome to just sit and watch him play, and see how he figured things out - and how captivated he was by just one simple toy. And how his eyes lit up when I was laying on the floor next to him and reached over to give him a hug.

Because he was feeling so overwhelmed, or nervous, or scared, or whatever it was he was feeling, I knew I couldn't get up to do anything else. I couldn't get distracted by having to clean up the kitchen, or fold laundry, or get on my computer.

I had to stay right where I was, and devote my full attention to that moment and that cute, funny, amazing little 2-year-old boy, and instead of making me feel restless, it made me relieved.

It was such a treat to not feel like I was being pulled in three different directions. It was like I had pressed a pause button, and everything else fell away, and I was happy to see it go.

We laughed, we giggled, we hugged, and we chatted, and I completely forgot about how he had been 'ruining' my evening.

Sure, I missed out on socializing with our guests. But I gained so much in return.

I am so very glad I'm here.

Are You Smarter Than A Two-Year-Old?

Since I ran 3 x 1-mile repeats on Sunday, I skipped this week's track workout (which just happened to be 3 x 1-mile repeats). I figured I'd be ready for today's tempo run, though, so set out - once again, in shorts! This is going down in my book as The. Best. Winter. Ever.  (and definitely a great winter to be training for a spring marathon!)

In place of Tuesday track, I did an easy 6 miles, and it was a really nice break - nice to just go out and run, with no plan or target paces.

Back at it today, though. I raised the bar pretty high last week, with the 8-mile tempo run at a 7:16 pace. (I'm still a little astonished that I did that). I had a feeling I wouldn't quite get there today, but I was ready to go out and try.

I ran a different 8-mile route - I was getting kind of sick of the other one, as I've run it for the past 6 weeks in a row. The new route was flatter, and a nice change of scenery. But it wasn't feeling like last week's run. I was working hard, but running slower. Still running at a great tempo pace, but after 7:16, 7:35 feels slow.

I was a little discouraged at first, but then I reminded myself that I had just run a 5K a few days earlier, with an average pace just under 7-minute miles. And that I was probably just barely recovered from that effort, and was asking an awful lot of my body to put in those tempo-pace miles today.

So I didn't get mad, or upset. I cut myself some slack. I didn't give myself permission to bail on the run, and I didn't give myself permission to slow down to an easy jog. But I did give myself permission to settle into a pace that might be slower than what I wanted to be running, but that would respect the fact that my body needed an easier day than I had planned.

The last few miles felt tough, but I was pleased when I was finishing up to see that I had still managed to maintain a 7:25 pace. Not as fast as last week, and not an easy run, but a smart run - and still with very good results.

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Carmine's vocabulary has exploded. He still adds the suffix "en" to lots of his words, though. When he wants his hat, he'll say "hat-en." And when he wants a treat, he'll say "treat-en."  Like the infamous "det-doh," I'll be a little sad when he stops saying it.

He plans ahead when he greets people, too. Instead of just saying "Hi," he'll say "Hi, Bye. See ya!"

His table manners have improved slightly. He's till a ticking time bomb, and not ready for restaurant meals yet - you never know when he's going to lose interest in his meal and start causing all sorts of chaos. But we at least have some relatively nice time with him prior to that happening. It's made mealtimes a lot less stressful.

One thing I've noticed is that he really enjoys playing with his food. And if it keeps him quiet, I'm not going to try to put a stop to it. Especially since he's finally starting to say "please" when he asks for things, instead of just screaming at us. Gotta take the good with the bad, right?

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Gabe has become a germophobe and hypochondriac. Over the course of the past few weeks, he's asked me about the plague, disease-carrying mosquitos, epilepsy, poisonous jellyfish, and pneumonia. Part of the problem is that he reads so much, and if he sees even a mention of some kind of disease or illness, he gets fixated on it.

I'm trying to answer his questions as best I can, but also stressing to him that there's no point in worrying about things that you can't control. We do everything we can to stay healthy - eat well, exercise, wash our hands - and that's all we can do.

And I assured him that he doesn't have to worry about catching the plague.

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It was yet another beautiful day here, so when Carmine woke up from his nap, I got him ready to go outside. It wasn't really cold enough for mittens and a "hat-en," but he asked for them nicely, so I went and got them.

After I put them on, he grinned, threw his hands up in the air, jumped up and down, and yelled "Hooray mittens!"

Some parts of this Family Re-Charge make me think a lot of being more like a kid - be present, enjoy where you are and what you're doing at any given moment, appreciate the small things (like mittens), rest, and enjoy life.

I'm still learning, but the 2-year-old has it all figured out : )

Day Five

Pause. Integrate. Rest. Words that aren't a big part of my vocabulary.

I'm not a person who does well with quiet time. Sure, I enjoy when the kids are asleep at night and the house is quiet, but I'm rarely still. I'm rarely able to sit and do nothing, or even less than one thing.

I generally have at least two or three things going at once, and while I'm working on those things, I'm thinking about what I'll do next, and what I'll do tomorrow, and where I'll be signing the boys up for summer camp this year, and what weekend we're going to schedule Gabe's birthday party for...... 

So today's message was perfect. It's one I hear often, but I still struggle with putting it into practice.

Pause. Integrate. Rest.

The first 4 days of this program have given me so much to think about, and so many ideas to ponder. They're all wonderful ideas - very inspiring, very moving, very thought-provoking - but it's been a lot to add to the mix that's already swirling around my type-A brain on a daily basis.

I'm constantly looking ahead, constantly on the hunt for new ideas - some to keep our family more organized, some to promote better behavior from the boys, and some just for fun (search Pinterest for kids crafts, and before you know it, you will have pinned an entire year's worth!).

I don't think this is a bad thing. What family couldn't use more organization, better behavior, and more fun?  And being on the hunt for new ideas/approaches is what led me to the 10-Day Recharge, which is definitely a good thing : )

But sometimes I get too caught up in all that, and I forget what Erin reminded us of today in her audio message. These are the words that I felt the most:

"You are enough."

Systems, rewards, special activities aside - what my boys need most is ME.

As I thought about this, I thought about my own parents and my own childhood, which was beyond wonderful.  I remember lots of specific fun stuff from childhood - day trips, holidays, cookouts with friends and cousins, summer days spent splashing in the pool or running around the backyard. 

But even if I didn't remember all those things, I'd remember a feeling. The feeling that I was special, and loved, and that no matter what I did, or what happened, my family would always, always, always be there for me.

I always say that I hope to be half as good a mom to my boys as my mom was to us, and I never really thought about it before, but I think when I say that, what I mean is that I want to create that feeling of love, and warmth, and togetherness.

When Gabe and Dante and Carmine grow up, I want them to remember all the fun stuff, all the memories we've created. But mostly I want them to have that same feeling I have.

And it doesn't take any money or special system or fancy reward to give them that. It just takes me.

Thank you for the reminder, Erin : )

Super 5K, 2012

After Hartford, I immediately started looking forward to Gansett, but also immediately started crunching numbers and looking forward to shorter races, where I could really test my speed, which I knew had probably increased quite a bit. 

I ran a 5K on Halloween to see what the many months of marathon training speedwork would equate to in a short-distance race, and was very happy with the results - 21:57. Sub-22. A goal that seemed unimaginable a few years ago, when I was struggling to break 23 minutes in a 5K.

As soon as I crossed that finish line, I knew I had my long-term goal for 2012 - a sub-21-minute 5K.

I perused some pace charts, and seeing the pace required for a sub-21 (6:45) definitely made me a little scared, but it also made me excited - a new goal to chase, and one that I'd have to work hard to achieve. 

My next two 5Ks were not going to get me closer to that goal, though - one was extremely hilly, and the other was run on the beach. I still ran them pretty fast, but not PR fast.

This weekend's race, though, was the perfect place to start chipping away at that new 21:57 PR. A flat, fast course - one where I've set many PRs in the past - and perfect weather, to boot.

It was a bit chilly, but I've become one of those runners who likes to wear shorts anytime it's above 30 degrees, and Sunday was just slightly above 30, so shorts it was. It was a little chillly waiting at the start, but the second I got moving, I was fine.

I am notoriously bad about going out too fast in races, especially in 5Ks - and especially in this race, which is flat as a pancake for the entire first mile. I was determined to reverse that trend this year.

But then I found myself at the front of the pack, running a 6:30 pace in the first 1/4 mile. Eeek!!! I quickly dialed it back, though, and got myself down to just above a 7:00 pace, which is what I had planned to run the first mile in. Ended mile 1 at 7:08.

The only incline is from just before the mile 1 marker to just after it, and it's not at all steep, so it didn't really present any problems for me - in fact, I passed quite a few people on the way up. And when I hit the flat stretch at the top, I focused on increasing my turnover again and picking up the pace a bit.

I was feeling pretty good heading out to the turnaround, and after the turnaround, passed a few more people. Hit the mile 2 mark in 6:57, which felt perfect. I was working hard, and definitely getting tired, but I knew I could push it a little more during the final mile.

I flew down the small hill we had climbed on the way out, and made the turn to head back down along the beach toward the finish. There's sometimes a wicked strong wind down this stretch, but luckily that wasn't an issue yesterday.

I had glanced at my Garmin at the 2-mile mark, and knew I was going to PR, but I made a conscious decision at that point that I wasn't going to look at it again. I wanted to just run the 3rd mile as fast as I could, without worrying if I was hitting a certain pace or not.

So I just ran. Fast.

I wasn't watching the clock, but it sure felt like I was running under a 7-minute pace. My legs were starting to feel very heavy as I headed into the final 1/2 mile, but I knew I was almost done, so I held on.

As I turned the final corner, I saw the clock ticking away in the vicinity of 21:30, and I smiled. And as I crossed the finish line and it read 21:38, I smiled again.

A PR by 19 seconds, and 39 seconds closer to my goal. A victory, in my book!

My only regret for this race is that, when I was done, I felt like I maybe could have pushed myself a teeny bit more. I didn't feel like I left it ALL on the course. I felt like I left 98% of it on the course.

I'm not beating myself up about it, though, because seriously - 21:38????!!!!  I never dreamed I could run that fast!!!  And seeing as how I'm in the middle of marathon training, I think holding back that 2% was probably a wise choice. Make no mistake about it - 2% held back or not, I ran hard.

This is a very competitive race, and I didn't really expect to place in my age group, but I waited around to see results posted, just in case. I didn't place, but I did come in 5th in my age group (initially thought I was 4th, but when the results were posted online later in the day, I was actually 5th). For a race with this kind of serious competition, I was thrilled with that placement! 

So now the focus shifts back to marathon training. 10 weeks to go!

But you can be sure that once I have Gansett behind me, and I take a few well-deserved weeks off, I will be back at the track, getting myself ready to move up to a level where I truly feel like I'm competing, not just trying to beat my own times.

I've said before, and I'll say it again - I love the challenge of the longer distances, and there's no feeling that can quite compare to finishing a marathon and knowing that you just ran 26.2 miles. But I think running a 5K in under 21 minutes will be pretty darn close : ) 

The final numbers -

21:38

6:58 pace

5th in 40 - 49 age group

14th female overall

71 of 365 overall