So I have a big race coming up Friday - the Blessing of the Fleet 10-Miler - but I'm not really treating it like a big race. I haven't truly trained, and I've barely given much thought to a goal time or pace.
Usually I would have spent the past week or so poring over pace charts and analyzing last year's splits, to see what I need to do to improve.
But I'm just not there this year. I'm not feeling the need to push myself. I'm not feeling the need to PR. I'm not feeling the need to be on pins and needles all week, wondering if I can hit my goal pace or not.
And I'm completely and totally ok with that.
Don't get me wrong - I'm not going to go out and jog an easy 10 miles. But I'm also not totally driven to get a PR at all costs. The weather the past few weeks (extremely hot and humid) have been great for hitting the beach, but not so great for running, and I've had some really crappy workouts and some really tough training runs.
There have been a couple runs that have gone well enough to boost my confidence and remind me that yes, I do still know how to run fast - but I'm still not feeling the competitive spark I usually have when this race rolls around.
But instead of seeing that as a problem, I see it as just a sign of where I am right now. I am admittedly a little preoccupied with getting my coaching stuff finalized and set up so that I can get going and start working with clients. And I'm also in summer mode, which means a little less strictness with scheduling and a little more easy, fun running with friends.
And I'm kind of saving my energy and my emotions for December, when I'll start my Boston training. That's where I want to really succeed. That's where I want the big payoff to be. And I know full well that that's where I'll need the most mental toughness.
So I'm saving it up, and I'm going to try to enjoy the shorter races I'm doing for what they are - a bit of a test of my fitness level, but not an all-out battle to beat my previous times.
So I'll be at the starting line Friday night, and I'm sure I'll be nervous and excited, and I'm sure I'll start out too fast and regret it, and I'm sure I'll run harder than I think I'm going to. But I'm not stressing over it, which is really nice, for a change.