The 8 days since I last posted were something of a roller coaster. I was mostly feeling pretty ok with where I was at, and resigned to not running for as long as it took to get healthy. But even the most positive attitude can be put to the test sometimes, and I had my moments.
I also had a couple of short test runs that were ok while I was running, but were followed by pain - for a few days the pain actually moved from one side of my leg to the other, making me fear that I was now dealing with not only one, but two injuries.
Frustration was not a strong enough word for what I was feeling. One step forward, two steps back - not the direction I had been hoping to head in.
I sulked and pouted and whined to Facebook for a day, and then I took a deep breath, regrouped, and got up the next day resolving to make it a better one. And I did.
And a few days later, I ran a mile. And it sounds crazy to say it, but even though it didn't feel any different physically than any of the other short test runs I've taken in the past couple of weeks, it did somehow feel different. It felt like this was the day things were finally going to start moving in the right direction.
I was nervous all that afternoon, since that's when the pain would usually set in (a few hours after running). But the afternoon passed without even a hint of discomfort. And the same was true the next day.
It almost felt strange to not feel that nagging twinge in my lower leg, and to not be constantly aware of something feeling 'off' with my shin and my calf. But there was really nothing to be aware of - it felt fine.
So this morning, I planned to run 2 miles. It was dark outside, and I wasn't able to find my knuckle lights, so I opted for the treadmill. When you haven't really run for 6 weeks, you'll take a run any way you can get it, and the treadmill is suddenly far less unpleasant than it previously seemed.
The 2 felt great. Perfect. Pain-free. Amazing. So I snuck in another half mile. And with two PT appointments lined up for this week, I think I'm in a good position to continue doing a little bit of running as I start really and truly rehabbing this injury.
The trick now is to not get ahead of myself. Pushing too far too soon is only going to end badly, and I know that. The problem is that I get out there on the road (or on the treadmill), and it's so incredibly difficult to hold back - especially when I look at the calendar and think about how I'm due to start my Boston training in 4 weeks, and how I want to get back to running the speeds I was running before, and how I want to go out for a long run along the beach, and how I want to be able to run with my friends. I want it all right now, but I know that can't happen.
So my number one goal right now is to continue to be patient - to build my mileage slowly and carefully, and to avoid re-aggravating these very cranky tendons that have been so uncooperative. It's going to be tough to exercise the patience I'll need to not jump ahead too quickly, but it's a little bit easier to be patient when I'm able to at least run a little bit, rather than not at all.
Proceeding with caution - but also with a much happier heart.