Words cannot even describe how tired I am right now. Dante had a nightmare at 3am and crawled into our bed (only for a few minutes, and then he went willingly back to his own bed), and although he went right back to sleep, I did not. I dozed off and on for an hour and a half, but then was wide awake at 4:45.
I came downstairs and watched a bit of the morning news, which starts at 5am sharp, and after realizing that there was no way I was going to be able to get back to sleep, I figured I'd go to the gym, so that I could get my workout out of the way and have the whole day to spend with the boys.
I don't know that I'll be voluntarily waking up at 5am to go to the gym again anytime soon, but I have to say, it was awfully nice to be there so early. It was so quiet, and I didn't feel the least bit rushed to get through my workout - it was really nice. And the best part is that I was leaving the gym at 6:45, and I was all done, and had the entire day ahead of me.
I do miss those super early morning workouts - that's something I was doing pretty regularly last year when I was going out on my long, long runs for marathon training. There's something really cool about being up before everyone else, and getting out and about in those early morning hours when everything is so quiet and still.
But, since I'm usually way too tired at that early hour these days, I suspect this will just be something I do once in a while when insomnia strikes.
I knew I'd pay for the early wakeup later in the day, though, and I did. I felt fine until lunchtime, then I started fading fast.
We had a busy morning, though - went to one farm to pick blueberries, and another to pick raspberries. The boys had a much easier time with the blueberries - easier for them to reach, and incredibly abundant. The raspberries were trickier - lots of them were out of their reach, and it was getting toward the middle of the day, so we were all getting kind of hot, and there was a lot more whining than there had been during the blueberry picking.
But I still managed to pick 3 pints of delicious, super sweet raspberries, with which I'm going to attempt to make jam. The blueberries (4 1/2 pounds of them) are destined for muffins, a pie, and just plain stuffing our faces! They're even sweeter than they were the last time we went, so I think a lot of them will get eaten before I can make anything with them.
Gabe already ate more than his share while we were picking - he'd go over to a bush a few yards away from me, proclaim that it was his "favorite blueberry patch," and turn his back to me and proceed to stuff blueberries in his mouth, and I think he really thought I didn't see what he was doing : )
When we finally finished with all our picking, and stopped at the store to buy pectin to make the jam, we came home for a quick lunch, then headed upstairs into the a/c where I put a movie on for the boys, and they watched that while I rested. I didn't sleep, but I came close, and it helped recharge my batteries enough to get the pool filled up for them so they could cool down in the afternoon. They happily splashed around for well over an hour.
They came up with a great game, too - they often play t-ball in between all their splashing, and they discovered that if you smack the surface of the water with your plastic t-ball bat, it makes an enormous splash. It's a pretty fun game.
And lest I forget - the biggest news of the day - when I was awakened by Dante at 3am this morning, I was laying in bed half asleep, when I suddenly felt two distinct thumps in my belly. Two little thumps that were distinctly caused by a tiny little baby kicking. Waking up at 3am suddenly seemed a lot less annoying.
Now that I know I've felt the little guy for sure, I think that I probably have felt it a few other times this week and last, but this was the first time that I knew 100% that that's what it was.
After everything we went through to get to this point, every little milestone has taken on so much more significance, and this one especially was one I had really been anxious for.
Hearing the heartbeat is amazing, and seeing your baby on ultrasound is incredible, but there is absolutely nothing to compare to feeling that little person rolling and kicking inside of you. It makes the whole thing that much more real - and since, even well into my second trimester, I still have moments of anxiety, feeling that movement and feeling like it is all so very real, is a really great thing.
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