Me and The Boys

Week 11 - Counting Down the Days Til Taper

It's been over a year since I was at this point in marathon training, but now that I'm here, I remember it so well. I'm tired. I'm ready to be done with training and just run the race already. I'm ready for taper to begin. 

That's not to say that I'm not getting excited, because I am, but I'm also very much looking forward to starting to wind down this whole training thing. Sixteen weeks is a long time, and I'm happy to be getting really close to finishing it up. 

I think part of the reason I feel that way is also due to the fact that this was probably my biggest training week yet. A total of almost 51 miles, including a speed workout, a 7-mile tempo run, and a 20-miler with a total of 10 miles at goal pace. 

The good news, though, is that all went well!

The speedwork was a series of 5 x 800/400 repeats, with a 200 rest interval in between each, and then a 400 rest interval in between each set. I ran the 800s at 3:15, and the 400s at 1:34. A challenging workout, but I felt very accomplished walking off that track. 

Spring weather arrived in full force last week, and when I ran Thursday, it was actually a very warm 63 degrees. For the first few miles, it felt lovely. But when my 2-mile warmup was done and I started picking up the pace for my tempo miles, it wasn't so lovely anymore. 

I know I've been extremely lucky and have had a relatively mild winter for training, but most of my runs have been in temperatures in the 20s, 30s, and 40s, so jumping up to temps in the 60s was a bit of a shock to the system, and by the time I ran those final two tempo miles, I was dying, and I fought for every step. 

I still got my tempo pace, though, with an average of 7:14 for the 7 miles (even managed 7:06 for the final mile), so it was a tough one, but it was a success. Friday's easy-paced run was very welcome, though. 

Saturday Dante and I ran a 5K together, and I am so glad that he wanted to run it, because if I had run it by myself I would have had a hard time not racing it, and I knew racing a 5K would have been a bad idea the day before I had a tough 20-miler planned - especially this 5K in particular, which features a very big downhill at the start, which you have to run back up at the finish. 

With the downhill start, we went out way too fast, running the first mile in 9:13. Once we hit the flat part of the course, though, we slowed down and took a few walk breaks, too. I was following his lead, and letting him stop and walk when he needed to, but there were a few times where I encouraged him to start running again, because I sensed that he'd just mosey along for half a mile if I let him. 

It's a fine line between not pushing him so hard that he thinks running isn't fun, but also not letting him quit just because he's a little tired. This is the sixth 5K I've run with him, so I'm getting a good sense of when to push him and when to back off, and I think I struck just the right balance with this one. 

The second mile was pretty slow - that 9:13 caught up with him - and took us 11:25. As we passed the 2-mile mark and headed back toward the hill, I reminded him several times to not go too fast, because we needed to save our energy for that climb. And I'm glad I did, because we ended up running the 3rd mile faster than the second one, despite having to tackle the huge hill.

We stopped and walked twice, but ran way more of the hill than I thought he'd be able to. I was so proud of him. Mile 3 in 11:14. And he saved enough to run the final .1 at 8:35 pace. His final time was 33:05, for a 10:32 average pace - an incredible accomplishment on such a tough course, and also considering that he hasn't run a 5K in nearly a year!  So happy to have run another race together :-) 

Sunday's 20-miler was looming large, though. The plan was to run 5 easy, 5 at goal marathon pace, 5 easy, and 5 more at goal pace. I felt pretty sure I could do it, but I was still a little nervous. 

I had the weather in my favor, though - low 50s and dry, and not too windy. Couldn't ask for much better. I worked really hard to hold back for the first 5 miles - I wanted to be sure to save my energy for the goal pace miles, and also wanted to practice not going out too fast. Most of the first 5 miles came in around 8:30, so I think I was successful. 

I stopped at a convenience store for a bathroom break at mile 5, and the song "Call Me Maybe" was playing in the store, so I had that song stuck in my head for the next 15 miles. That was probably the most difficult part of the run. Seriously. That was a whole different kind of mental training. 

Picking up to marathon pace for the next 5 miles went pretty smoothly. I felt good at that pace, and actually had to slow myself down quite a few times. But overall I did well staying in the right pace range - just a little too fast the last couple of miles - 7:53, 7:49, 7:43, 7:42, 7:40. 

It was nice to drop back down to an easy pace for the next 5, but after having run faster the previous 5, I had a hard time slowing back down to 8:30s, and ended up running these miles around 8:10 pace. Not too fast, but probably a little faster than they should have been.

I saw a bunch of friends out running during this stretch, which is always nice. I've been fine with running my long runs solo, and I really believe it's a good thing for me to do, but seeing them out there and saying hi definitely lifted my spirits for a few miles.

At mile 14 I had to stop and refill my water, and I was starting to get tired, and not really looking forward to those last 5 miles at goal pace. But I knew I just had to get it done, and I tried to remember how smooth and comfortable the first 5 at goal pace had felt. 

Miles 16 and 17 were almost that smooth and comfortable - 7:47 and 7:46 - and I was surprised at how good I felt, even though this is the point at which I start to hit the hills heading back toward home. 

Mile 18 felt a little less smooth and not at all comfortable, thanks to the hills, and thanks to the fact that I ran it in 7:35 instead of 7:50. At that point, though, I just wanted to get it done, and I decided that a little faster than goal pace was ok, because it would get me home that much sooner. 

Miles 19 and 20 were kind of a blur. The hills in mile 19 are not big ones, but it's a series of rollers that feel like absolute mountains when you're at mile 19 of a 20-miler and running a 7:36 pace. 

And mile 20 features a short but very steep hill that I absolutely hate. It's not the biggest one on this route, but it's the steepest one, and I do much better with long, gradual inclines, so this short, steep one always kills me. I was determined to finish strong, though, and even with that hill, I completed mile 20 in 7:32. 

Downhill start, uphill finish - my Boston training route. 

 

Total time for the 20 miles was 2:41, for an overall 8:03 pace.  A tough effort, but a pretty well-executed effort, I think. And it felt great to know that I only have one more 20-miler left in this training cycle. 

I'm getting excited now that race day is getting closer, but I'm also tired, and really ready for taper to begin. 

 

As part of my race prep, I've been reviewing my splits from 2013, and re-read my race recap from that day, also. It's a tough one to read, but it reminds me of why Boston has such a huge place in my heart, and why I'm so honored to be going back again.

The journey to get there is sometimes discouraging, sometimes frustrating, and often exhausting - but it's so, so worth it. 

Dante's Third 5K - And a New PR!

I know most people think they'd never hear me say these words, but when I woke up Sunday morning, I really didn't feel like going for a run. I was tired, it was cold and windy, and I was seriously lacking motivation.

Luckily I had plans to meet my friends to run and go for coffee afterward, so I bundled up and headed out.

And of course once I started running, I felt a hundred times better, and was so glad I didn't blow it off. We ran and talked, and kept to a nice easy pace like I had wanted to, and went for a post-run coffee and talked some more, and it was the perfect way to start my day. 

As we ran, I debated whether or not I was going to do the 5K on the beach with Dante as I had been planning. It was so windy and cold, and I knew it would be even windier (and colder) on the beach. I didn't want the less than ideal conditions to make it a miserable experience for him. 

But he's a tough little kid, and ultimately I felt like he'd be fine, so I decided to go for it. 

I forgot to wear my Garmin, and the whole race is run on the beach (you go back and forth a couple of times), so I have no idea what our mile splits were, and I don't really care. I'm pretty sure we made it just about an entire mile without him having to stop, but then we stopped and walked a bunch of times during the final 2 miles. 

I let him call the shots, as I've done in the other races we've run together. We had some laughs about how crazy the wind was, especially when we were running into it. And we both commented on how cool the beach looks in the winter - such a different feel to it. 

Without a watch, I really had no idea how long it was taking us, but I had guessed we'd finish in around 40 minutes. So when we got within sight of the clock and I saw that it was just under 37 minutes, I yelled at him to "Go, go, go!!!  This is going to be your fastest 5K EVER!"  

And he listened. He sprinted into the finish in 37:04 - and then promptly had to sit down on the sand to catch his breath. I told him that's how you're supposed to feel at the end of a race :-) 

This is a very, very small race (less than 50 finishers), so there wasn't a lot of fanfare afterward, but we went inside and he enjoyed his post-race clam chowder, donuts, and hot chocolate, and we stayed for the awards, too.  Since it's such an incredibly small race, my 37-minute finish actually put me 2nd in my age group - I don't think that would happen at ANY other 5K ever. 

It was a fun event for us, though, and I'm so glad we did it. I am honestly every bit as proud of his PR as I've ever been of one of my own. And of course now that he's seen that if he keeps up with this, he can get better at it, he's already looking forward to his next race - and now Gabe wants to do one, too. 

I remember a few years ago thinking about how awesome it would be when my kids were old enough to run with me. And now that they are - it's even better than I imagined it would be. 

Jingle Bell 5K on the beach - 

37:04, 11:57 pace, 2-minute PR 

I'm not going to be chasing a PR of my own this weekend, but I am looking forward to getting out and running my own 10K race in Newport, and hope to have a fun race and a decent finish time.  

Still feeling somewhat lost and aimless post-marathon, but trying to settle in and get used to running just because. Because it makes me happy, because it brings me peace, because it clears my head, because it feeds my soul, because it lifts my spirits. Because right now, that's what I need. 

Back to Reality

The week that Dante went back to school (August 27 - otherwise known as TOO EARLY FOR SCHOOL!) was tough. Carmine and Gabe were still on vacation, and it felt wrong for us to go out and have all sorts of fun adventures while Dante was stuck in school, so it was a pretty quiet three days. And it also felt like we were in limbo. Kind of a strange week, and I was glad when the weekend arrived. 

Despite some iffy weather forecasts, we enjoyed a beach day on Saturday, a great day with the family in CT on Sunday, and what ended up being what we think was one of the best beach days of the entire season on Monday.

We stayed until 5pm that day, and if the kids hadn't had school the next day, we would have stayed later.  It was very difficult to leave.  (made more difficult by Carmine entertaining us by running up to random people at the beach, shaking their hands, and saying "Hi! My name is Carmine, and I'm making friends.") 

We had such a spectacular summer, and as I do every year, I struggled with it ending. It didn't help that last week - the first week that all three of them were in school - was a week of absolutely perfect beach weather.

I made it there one afternoon by myself and I did enjoy the quiet for a little while. But I missed my boys. I felt so bad for them being stuck in school when we could have been spending all day on the sand. 

And I know the reality of that picture is that the 'perfect beach day with my boys' is usually punctuated with fights and pestering and whining and complaining. But in the end, it's still a perfect day when we get to spend it by the water, and it made me sad to not be able to do that with them. 

We did pack them all up and have dinner at the beach Friday night, and it was the best possible way to end the first week of school. We even ran into some friends, and stayed until it got dark. 

As I do every summer, I made a photo book of all our pictures from June, July, and August, and it arrived yesterday, and even though I've seen all the photos countless times, I still loved looking through it - and I'm sure I'll love it even more when it's 0 degrees and snowing this winter. 

We definitely made some memories this summer, and I'm glad the boys will have the photos to look back on. I know they appreciate everything we do - every time we went somewhere special this summer, Dante would come over to me at some point during the day and give me a huge hug and proclaim it "the BEST DAY EVER!" and me "the BEST MOM EVER!"  

Which is why I wasn't at all insulted or upset when he was talking to a friend outside on the blacktop on the first day of school, and the friend asked him what he had done this summer, and Dante's answer was "you wouldn't believe all the cool stuff we found in Minecraft." 

The transition to school hasn't been without its challenges, particularly thanks to Gabe's very early bus pickup, and the fact that all three kids are in different schools, with different dropoff and pickup times, and I am constantly feeling like I've forgotten to get someone or bring someone somewhere. 

We're getting the hang of it, though, and the onslaught of school paperwork has slowed down somewhat, too, which helps. 

We also snuck in one more little summer-ish adventure this past weekend, when we spent the day exploring in Jamestown. I had heard of Fort Wetherill before, but didn't really know anything about it, so it was fun to check it out. It's sort of a creepy old abandoned fort, but has some really spectacular views, and the area is dotted with little coves/beaches where we found a huge amount of sea glass.

Top it all off with lunch at East Ferry Deli and ice cream on the way home, and it was a hugely successful day! 

I always feel so conflicted at this time of year. There is such a big part of me that thrives on routine and schedules, and there is something about the rhythm of the school day that I like, once we settle into it. And yes, having a few hours of quiet is nice, too. 

But especially as the boys get older, and we can do so many more cool, fun, interesting things with them, it's tough when those summertime adventures have to come to a close. I love all our outings just as much as they do - there's nothing like watching them experience things that I've seen or done, and getting to see it through their eyes. 

And even better - doing stuff with them that I've never done before, like our first trip to the waterpark last year, and our trip to Plymouth Plantation this year. Sharing things like that with your kids is one of the best parts of parenting, I think - or one of the most fun parts, at least. 

September in Rhode Island is typically a pretty beautiful month, and I know we'll still do a ton of fun stuff on the weekends, but it never has quite the same magical summer feel to it. 

One other way I tried to capture some of that summer magic:  about 9 years ago, when Gabe was still a baby, I found this book called "At the Beach" at the local consignment shop and bought it for 25 cents. 

I loved it then, and I still love it now. It's so simple, but I love the way it reads - it just sums up the beach so beautifully, and every time I read it, I'd picture scenes from our own beach days. 

So this year, I decided to stop imagining that in my head and re-create the book using our own beach pictures. I love how it came out, and the boys seem to like it, too. 

It's a nice memento, and something I hope will become as tattered and worn as the original. 

But for now, back to reality it is, and we're doing our best to ease into it. I miss my boys, but I'm also proud of them and happy to see how well they're all adjusting and how much they love to learn. 

And there's still plenty of magic to be found out there - just a different kind of non-summer magic. We'll find it, though - we're not the type to just sit around and wait for it to come to us. 

 

Time Marches On

I'm a pretty sentimental person, and I get a little melancholy at certain stages of the boys' lives, but for the most part, I revel in them growing up and becoming more independent - that's what's supposed to happen, after all, and it's a privilege to watch and be a part of it. 

But then there are moments that their little incremental steps away from us suddenly become giant leaps, and it takes my breath away and brings a tear to my eye. And lately, it seems like there have been a lot of those moments.

Gabe is on the verge of honest-to-goodness teenage existence, and Dante is close behind. Carmine is still along way off from that, but is light years ahead of where Gabe and Dante were at age 4.5. 

The changes aren't truly monumental ones, but as a mom who's kept these boys under nearly constant surveillance since the second they were born, they feel monumental. But they need to happen.

So when I picked them up from camp a few weeks ago, and Dante jumped up and started to run over to me, but then caught himself and sat back down and played it cool, I didn't take it personally. 

And when I wanted to take a picture of Gabe the first day he had his braces on, and he said no, because he didn't want me to post it on Facebook, I completely understood and respected that request (one he's never, ever made before). 

 

And when Gabe and Dante asked us the other day if they could go for a walk on the beach with their friend, we said yes. And when I was at the grocery story today with all three of them and Carmine needed to go to the bathroom, I asked Gabe to take him while Dante and I finished up the shopping. And when we forgot something from our locker up at the beach pavilion this morning, I gave Dante the key and asked him to go get it.

 

And as hard as it can be to just Let. Them. Go. and do these things on their own, it's also kind of liberating and rewarding.

Rewarding in the sense that although I constantly feel like I'm totally screwing this up, I'm doing enough right that I can trust my 10-year-old to take care of his little brother for a few minutes in a public place - and I can count on my 8-year-old to operate a key and door lock - and more importantly, remember to bring the key back!  And I can give Gabe $10 and have him go get us a snack at the concession stand at the beach. 

No, these are not complicated, enormous tasks, but believe me, there are moments in our everyday life where I doubt their abilities to do simple things like that, so it's gratifying to see that they are in fact completely capable.

And it's liberating - and somewhat exhilirating - to know that I can rely on them to DO STUFF for me! I don't always have to be the one to drag Carmine to the bathroom. I don't always have to be the one to go and get stuff for us. I don't have to be on top of them every single second. 

I know the day will come that I will miss their noise and chaos at the beach, and that I'll wish they were sitting right beside me instead of off hanging out with their friends. But I also know that this is exactly what's supposed to be happening, and that (and the silence and the chance to sit and relax for a change, which, at the moment, I treasure) makes it easier.

They still need us - and they still let us know that on a very regular basis - but this newfound independence is a fascinating and beautiful and amazing thing, and as much as it makes me a bit sad, it also makes me incredibly proud. 

Our job as parents is to send these little people off into the world to do their thing and make their mark, and it's exciting to see them beginning to embark on that journey, and to wonder where on earth it's going to end up. 

On The Eve of Summer

My poor neglected blog. I think all the time about writing, but there just are not enough hours in the day. I've thought about just giving up on it altogether, but I think about how much I love having all of this written down (and printed and bound into books every year) as an account that hopefully the boys will read someday, and be reminded of all the things that they (and we) have lost track of with the passage of time. 

So I won't give up on it, but I have accepted that it's going to be something I do pretty infrequently, and that just has to be ok. As much as I love writing about all our adventures, it's more important that I'm out there living them, and whatever time is left over, I'll do my best to maintain some sort of record of them here. 

Carmine is the first subject that comes to mind, because he is really, really coming into his own. He's forceful, rather loud, hilarious, sweet, curious, and completely over the top in every way. He is going to make his mark on this world, and he's already off to a good start. When I meet other parents from his preschool class, they all say "Oh, you're Carmine's mom? I hear all about Carmine all the time." (and it's not because he's getting in trouble - he just has a way of making himself known). 

He's got a veritable treasure trove of one-liners - I can't even keep up with them, there are so many. He said to me one day "Can we go to the coffee shop, Mommy? You know - that place where all the girls that work there like me."  And in the two weeks leading up to Mother's Day, he kept wishing me a Happy "Smothers" Day. He also still has a few funny word mixups - tehgar for guitar, merote for remote, and bullzoder. I'm always a little sad when they lose those little mispronunciations, though, so I'm not in a hurry to correct him. 

 

 

His preschool is offering a full-day option for the 4-year-old class next year, and I briefly considered enrolling him, because he'll turn 5 in January, and I think he could handle a full day schedule. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I wasn't quite ready to give him up for the entire day just yet. I want to have my last year with my last little guy entertaining me and keeping me company for part of the day. 

 

It seems like just yesterday I was thinking those same thoughts about Dante, who's now headed off to third grade next year, which just doesn't seem possible.

Due to being sick, he missed a big report presentation one day at school, and missed a field trip another day, and I think he was feeling kind of down about it, so last month, I surprised him and picked him up from school mid-morning and he and I and Carmine spent the day at the zoo. It was one of the most fun days I've had in a long time, and they seemed to have a blast, too.

 

 

I also indulged him on Mother's Day weekend, which he informed was also his Sock Monkey's birthday (according to the tag on his Sock Monkey beanie baby). When he first told me, I had no intention of celebrating a stuffed animal's birthday. But he was literally counting down the days and marking them off on his calendar, and the more I thought about it, I realized that he would probably never again ask me to do something like that, and even thought it was ridiculous, I didn't see any harm in doing it. 

 

So when we celebrated Mother's Day with the family in Connecticut, we also celebrated Sock Monkey's birthday. And the smile on Dante's face made it totally and completely worth it. 

 

 

He had another big moment earlier this month when he and I ran his second 5K together. We chose the Katie DeCubellis 5K, which I ran last year, and which is a really nice, well-organized, family-0riented race. I knew it would be a good one for us to do together. The only snafu was that it was a very warm day. We did a lot of walking, and there was one point where he told me that he "wanted to quit so bad, but he was having fun, too."  I told him therein lies the essence of racing. 

 

We didn't quit, though, and he actually placed 2nd in his age group and won a new boogie board! I think that was truly one of the best days of his life, and I'm so happy that we got to share it together.

 

As a bonus, we also won two raffle prizes, one of which was a giant plastic dump truck that Carmine is already making good use of at the beach, as well as a slew of gift cards, and a bucket of candy, and a few other goodies - it was definitely a lucky day for the San Antonio family. 

 

 

I continue to be astounded every day at how grown up Gabe is becoming. He's had a big year, with lots more homework, and lots more reports, and many more challenges, and he's met every one of them. It hasn't always been pretty - we had a few battles over projects and book reports and how to schedule work appropriately (he is completely incapable of admitting that anyone else is right) - but he's getting the hang of it, and I'm proud of all he's accomplished this year. And I'm also incredibly grateful to his teachers and his amazing school for doing such a great job getting him ready for 5th grade. 

They had a small 'moving on' ceremony for all the 4th graders who are leaving his school at the end of this year (they do have the option to stay there for 5th grade), and it was really nice. I nearly cried, but I held it together. I didn't want to embarass him.

I know we still have many more years at this school - 2 more for Dante, and 5 for Carmine - but Gabe moving on from there is a huge milestone, and it's definitely hitting me hard. It still seems like just yesterday we were there for his Kindergarten orientation. 

Last week, though, it was middle school orientation - and although he's sad about leaving KHA, he came home from the middle school program completely excited and enthusiastic, and telling me that he wants to go to middle school "RIGHT NOW!"  So, some sad times, but some very exciting times, too. 

And in between are the glorious weeks of summer vacation, and after the winter we had, we are ALL very much looking forward to spending lots of time outside in the sun and on the sand and in the ocean. 

We've only made it to the beach a handful of times, but now that school is winding down, we'll soon be regulars. Thanks to a friend, we are lucky enough to have a closet at the beach pavilion where we can store all our stuff, which has made our beach trips so much less complicated. No need to pack all the chairs and toys and boogie boards and beach cart in the car every time. All we need to get ready is our cooler and backpacks, and we pick the rest of the stuff up when we get to the beach. So much easier in every way!

Carmine even has his own regular-sized boogie board this year, and he doesn't go out farther than ankle deep, but that's far enough for him to float around a tiny bit, and I have a feeling it won't be long before he's actually out there catching waves with his brothers. He came running up to us at the beach the other day with a cup full of water he had scooped out of the ocean, yelling "Look, I found water!!!"  And two minutes later he was back with another cup, yelling "Look, MORE water!" Ah, to be four..... 

And even though we had agreed we weren't going to buy Dante a surfboard this year, Scott found a used one that's the perfect size for him, and surprised it with him two weeks ago. He was, of course, thrilled, and told just about everyone he saw for the next two days about how he has a surfboard now. It wasn't a purchase I was planning on making, but it was a good purchase, and I'm glad Scott got it. 

And with that, we are officially completely ready for summer. The boys came home today with backpacks jammed full of papers and markers and pencils and books and stray gloves, so I know their desks are cleaned out, and all there is to do tomorrow is enjoy their ice cream party and say goodbye to their friends. 

I wait all year for the months of June, July, and August, and I'm beyond happy that they're finally here, and I can't wait to get out there and make the most of them.  

The Boys

While most of what I've written lately has been either about me and my running or about Gabe, I haven't forgotten about Dante and Carmine, and have been meaning to jot down some things about them, but it keeps getting pushed to the bottom of my endless to-do list.

Unfortunately, we're pretty sure Dante's been feeling like he's at the bottom of that list lately, too. With all of the Gabe issues we're dealing with - the palate expander, the upcoming 10th birthday, the medication - Dante has been feeling a bit left out, and as a result, has been acting up a little (sometimes a lot).

Thankfully we were wise enough to realize this after not too long - the fact that he was completely and totally flying off the handle and screaming and sobbing at the drop of a hat tipped us off - and we have been pretty deliberately giving him some extra attention. Not so much that Gabe and Carmine feel slighted, but enough to make Dante realize that he's just as awesome as ever, and that we're not ignoring him. And since we've made that effort, his freakouts have all but disappeared.

Being the middle child isn't easy, especially when you're sandwiched between an almost-ten-year-old brother who's going through a lot of big transitions all at once and an impossibly vivacious, outgoing, adorable 4-year-old who refuses to be ignored, and will often yell very loudly "I'm waiting to say something here!"

Dante is growing up in his own right, though. He's obsessed with science shows, and all manner of building/cooking/exploring shows. He and I both watched an Ernest Shackleton show that was on PBS last month, and he could binge watch episodes of "How Did They Do That?" I personally love this, as I'm a fan of all those shows, too, and I'd much rather he watch that than Pokemon.

As of right now, he wants to be an architect when he grows up - partially thanks to another show he likes to binge watch, called "Epic Homes." I think he was especially enamored of the log cabin house. Can't say I blame him - it looked pretty cool.

Going back a bit to when the yard was still covered in snow (a sight I hope I don't see again until next year!), he took to snowboarding like a natural, and spent hours going down the tiny hill in our backyard after school. He and Gabe (who also did really well with it) would throw on their gear and slide down over and over again, and one time I heard Dante say to Gabe "Dude, we're shredding some major powder now!" 

Because of the snowboards, they were particularly interested in the Winter Olympics, and we recorded and watched a lot of the events. Dante at one point mentioned how he wished we had a halfpipe in the backyard. And Gabe, while watching the figure skating, commented to me that "I bet you and Dad couldn't do that."  I didn't take him up on that bet.

February was a long month (and March is proving to be even longer, as spring seems to have forgotten to arrive), but we filled it up with as many fun activities as we could, including a visit from the Theriault cousins, complete with a snowstorm and an outing to see the Lego Movie.

School vacation week was busy, too, with a trip to CT to see Grammy and Grampy and more cousins, and two more trips to CT - one to the Pequot Museum, which we all loved; and one to Mystic Aquarium. So glad that we have so many fun places within close driving distance, and now that we caved and bought a membership to the Aquarium (and already have a membership to the Seaport), I'm sure we'll be spending even more time down that way.

Dante was beyond thrilled that the Titanic exhibit was still up at the Aquarium. He was a major Titanic buff a few years ago, and we went to see the exhibit right after it opened, but I didn't know it was still going to be there, so we all had fun going through and exploring it again.

There were too many snow days this winter, but we managed to survive them, with a mix of sledding, crafts, projects, tortilla snowflakes, and probably more screen time than recommended, but once the nice weather hits, I know the screens are going to be forgotten, so I'm ok with that.

Dante and Carmine are best buds these days, and spend so much time hanging out together. They both have incredible imaginations and love to create elaborate setups in the garage and in the yard - their favorite is to create a "boat," and then have adventures on and around their boat.

This usually involves making an enormous mess and taking out almost every toy they own, which results in me having to stand over them and make sure they put each and every item away, but it's worth it, because it really is the best kind of play, and I love to eavesdrop on them while they're talking - they get along so well, and it makes me so happy.

The three of them play together fairly well, too, but Gabe is definitely in a bit of a different place, and it shows sometimes. He spotted my Athleta catalog on the table one day, and the cover model was wearing a (very modest, athletic) bathing suit, and he turned it over, saying to Dante "We can't look at that - it's too sexy!" 

Gabe has been on his medication for two weeks, but neither we or his teacher have seen very much change in his behavior, so we'll be talking to the pediatrician to see if the dosage needs to be adjusted. The good news is that it isn't affecting him negatively in any way, either, so hopefully that will continue to be the case even if the dosage changes.

Carmine, 6 months after he moved to a big-boy bed, finally started getting up all by himself. It was pretty cute the first few mornings, the way he'd come downstairs and peek around the corner, as if he still wasn't quite sure he should be there. We've all adjusted to it now, but I think Gabe and Dante kind of miss going in his room to get him.

So far there have only been two nights that he got out of bed after we put him in for the night, and when we told him to go back to bed, he listened. Fingers crossed that that continues. 

A couple more Carmine goodies - if we have to talk to him about something he's doing wrong, or are telling him he can't do something, he puts his hand up and says "I don't want to talk right now."  And if I tell him he can't do something, he'll ask Scott - but he'll ask him while I'm still standing right there, and if I try to interrupt to tell him that Daddy is going to say no just like I did, the hand goes up again and I'm told "No, Mommy, don't talk - I'm talking to Daddy right now."  The kid has got some nerve, for sure.

In addition to his habit of yelling out "I'm waiting to say something over here," he has another way of trying to get a word in - he'll tell us (with the hand up - always) that "I'm having an answer."  

And his last few mispronunciations - which I love, and which I'm going to be sad to see go - are bullZoDer and lawnmoMer and Nuseum. He always gets those ones mixed up, but he can pronounce the word excavator clear as day.

Every day is challenging, and every day is exhausting, but every day they make it worth it.

Progress, and Other Wonderful Things

It's a wonderful thing when you're told by both your physical therapists that you can cut your visits back to once a week, rather than twice a week; and by your acupuncturist that you can cut back to every other week sessions rather than weekly.

It's also a wonderful thing when you can start running with your friends again.

It's even more wonderful when you set out for a solo 10-miler (your first double digit run in 4 months, but scheduling issues meant you couldn't meet up with your friends when they were heading out), and you just happen to run into those friends who are also out for their run, and you're able to run 4 of those 10 miles with them.

But the most wonderful thing of all is when you finish that 10-miler feeling better than ever, and feeling completely confident that you will in fact be able to stand at the starting line in Hopkinton on April 21st, and you will be able to again run the 26.2 miles to Boylston Street.

More wonderful things -

Bike trainer classes that have served very well to kick my butt on a few Saturday mornings this month, and have satisfied my need for a long endurance workout while I've been unable to get out for hours-long training runs.

 

Running Dante's first 5K with him earlier this month - a day that I know neither of us will soon forget. We made it to the 1.5-mile mark before we had to switch to a run/walk, but he made it the whole way, and per my instructions, when he hit the final turn and headed into the last .1 of the course, he ran for all he was worth.

 

The best part of the day for me, though, was at mile 2, when he turned to  me and said "This is the best day of my life."

 

I hope we run more races together in the future, but even if we don't, I'm glad we had that one.

And the most wonderful thing is that if someone were to ask me right now if I'm training for Boston, I'd say yes - no qualifiers, no maybe, no hopefully - I am all in!

It's a far cry from a 'real' training plan, and I'm totally making it up as I go along, but hey - I'm a coach, I can do that : )

It's a very fine line I'm walking, and I'm aware of that, and I'm doing my best to balance playing it safe with running enough to prepare my body for the marathon distance. Hopefully it works.

And if a good attitude counts for anything, I'll be all set, because I am positively oozing optimism right now. I keep imagining myself at the start, on the course, and crossing the finish line. I know it's going to be a tough race for me, and I'm going to be woefully undertrained, but I'll be there, and that's what matters.

Just going to keep doing what I'm doing, and keep hoping that more wonderfulness comes my way in the next 9 weeks.

Four and Eight

I'll start with the Eight -

 

Dante's real birthday was three days after Christmas, but he celebrated with friends two weeks ago at the Rock climbing gym in town.

 

A few backyard fireworks the night of his actual birthday.

 

I was solely in charge of seven boys at a rock climbing gym - and we all made it out of there completely unscathed, which I was very proud of.

 

 

They all had fun, and I always love to see the boys hanging out with their friends - it really gives you a whole different glimpse of who they are, to see how they act when they're with kids their own age.

And the way they act all together - it's incredibly insane.

 

I've never in my life seen so much pushing and grabbing and jumping and flailing - or heard so much screaming. They're just a whirling mass of noise, and as great as it was to see them having so much fun together, I breathed a huge sigh of relief when they all left to go home.

 

As the big boys get older, I'm tending to not write as much about them, because even though there aren't a huge amount of people who read this blog, it's still out there for public consumption, and I feel that they're old enough that I shouldn't necessarily be spilling all sorts of details about them growing up.

 

 

I will say, though, that Dante is definitely stepping up to the role of 'big kid' these days. Under no circumstances am I allowed to hug or kiss him when his friends are anywhere in the vicinity. When they can see the bus approaching in the morning, it's a flurry of hugs and kisses "before anyone sees, Mom!!!!!" 

 

If we don't have to worry about being spotted, though, he's still more than happy to curl up with either me or Scott on the couch, and once in a while will even try to climb into bed with us in the morning.

 

 

His habit of collecting things shows no signs of slowing down. I have to avert my eyes when I walk past his nightstand drawer and his desk. There's just STUFF. EVERYWHERE.  Bits of string, bottle caps, random bolts and rocks, tiny scraps of paper, broken bits of plastic, and of course Legos and Rainbow Loom bands, too. It's pretty astounding how much stuff he manages to accumulate.

 

And all this stuff travels with him, because he also likes to collect little boxes and envelopes and folders that he can use to make little customized 'kits' - aka 'packets of stuff that have no use whatsoever.'  I also need to stop buying him cargo pants, because they're just an invitation for him to stuff all the pockets full of more stuff that he collects.

 

There are times that it drives me absolutely batty, but then I'll take the time to sit down and actually look at the things he carts around, and stashes in his pockets, and piles in the cupholder next to his seat in the car - and when I take the time to look, I always chuckle and smile, because it never fails to amaze me how he can take the silliest little item and use his imagination to turn it into some kind of creation.

 

And then occasionally I'll find that he saved a note that I wrote him, and it's folded into a teeny tiny little square, and has the well-worn look of a note that has been carried around for a long time - and then my heart just melts.

 

So I try not to get too upset about his piles and piles of stuff, because I know that to him it's way  more than just stuff. And taking a little peek at those piles gives me a glimpse into how his little brain (and heart) is working, and that's a pretty cool thing. Happy 8, Dante.

 

 

Carmine is now officially a 4-year-old, but as we did with both Gabe and Dante, we're keeping his birthdays low-key until he turns 5, so this was another quiet family celebration.  But as a birthday surprise, he got a snowstorm and a snow day, so got to spend the day with his brothers.

 

We let him open his presents in the morning, figuring that new toys would provide some good activities for our homebound day, and they did. Against my better judgement, I got him one of these.

 

He's played with it countless times when we've gone to one of our local toy stores, which has it on display, and I knew it would be a huge hit, so I decided to indulge him. And I'm glad I did, because he (and Gabe and Dante) are all loving it.

 

 

His new favorite thing to watch is a show called Paw Patrol, so that's what he requested for a cake, which was thankfully an easy request, since I had just made Dante's rock climbing cake two days earlier. It was a very cake-filled week!

 

I'm now remembering how four is really the age of independence, but it still sometimes takes me by surprise when Carmine decides to do something for himself instead of waiting for me to do it for him. It definitely is helpful, though, and it's something I'm encouraging, for sure.

 

One thing he still won't do on his own is get out of bed. No lie - he still sits in his bed and plays and talks and sings, and waits until someone comes to get him. Gabe and Dante love to have that job, and have been known to fight over it (but then again, they fight over EVERYTHING....).

 

And there have been times that Scott will go up to get him, and Carmine will tell him to leave, because he wants Mommy.

 

 

One morning when I opened his door, he very politely told me he wasn't ready to come out yet, and could I come back later. Completely cracks me up, and it is going to throw all of us for a loop when he finally does decide to just get up and come downstairs on his own.

 

He is incredibly funny and entertaining, and although he sometimes drives me insane with his incessant questioning - "but what will happen then, Mommy?"  "but why are we going this way, Mommy?"  "but what are we doing next, Mommy?"  "and what are we doing after that, Mommy?"  "why is it cloudy today, Mommy?"  - it is awfully nice to have him to keep me company when he's not in school.

His enthusiasm for absolutely everything never ceases to amaze me. He is going through a phase right now where he likes to say "no, I don't want to do that" whenever we tell him we're going out to do something, but it's usually accompanied by giggling, so it's more of a game than anything. More often than not, when I tell him what we're doing, he jumps up and down and claps his hands and says "Yay!" He's pretty darn fun to have around : ) 

I could write pages and pages about him - the way he now says "yeah, yeah, what EVER dude;" the way he loves to sing and dance and play his little piano and guitar; the way he still absolutely adores his Mickey Mouse and carries it everywhere; the way he's a little OCD sometimes and insists that things be placed 'just so' and he will not rest if they're even slightly out of place; the way he still wants me to pick him up and carry him when I get him from preschool, and the way he wraps his arms around me and gives me a huge bear hug, and when I say "I love you," he responds "I love you first!"

He is a special little guy, and I sometimes look at him and think about how long we waited - through two miscarriages, through so much heartache and disappointment. There was a reason we went through all that, and he's the reason - we needed to wait for him, because he is absolutely everything we needed, and our family would not have been complete without him. Happy 4, Carmine.

Fall Recap - Better Late than Never

My boys are growing up faster than ever. Carmine got his first report card this week - a preschool report card, but still!  And most of the time I feel like Gabe is already a teenager, he's gotten so good at arguing with us, and being fresh, and rolling his eyes. And when he's not acting totally immature, he really likes to take charge and be the 'big kid,' and is very proud that he can now pour his own cereal and milk - and I've even been giving him lessons on how to use the washing machine. He's gotta start earning his keep around here!

Dante still mostly acts like the 8-year-old he almost is, but he definitely has his moments, too, and I'd never be able to keep track of the number of times he says "DUDE!" every day.

We enjoyed a magnificent fall, with a few cold days, but many more warmer than usual days, and we took full advantage, getting everyone outside as much as possible. There was plenty of plain old playing out in the yard, but we got out and about for a family hike, and a few trips to the playground, and Carmine and I still hit the beach at least a few times a week.

Sometimes he brings his scooter, and other times we just walk - on the sidewalk or on the sand. He even discovered that he can ride his scooter on the sand when it's low tide. And when we walk along the sidewalk, he stops to talk to every random stranger we pass. We will never have to worry about his ability to make friends.

I am determined to keep them playing outside after school as long as it's not completely frigid, and there have been some afternoons when I've had to really bundle up to stay out there with them, but it's so good to see them getting all that activity after being in school all day.

When the temps were warmer, there were even a few days that they were out there playing in the rain - because when it's 60 degrees in November, you play outside, even if it means getting a little wet.

Thanks to a great Groupon deal, we also took our first trip to the indoor rock climbing gym in town, and had an awesome time!  There wasn't a lot that Carmine could do, but he still managed to have fun, and Gabe and Dante definitely enjoyed it - it's something I'm sure we'll do again at some point, because I loved it, too!

One other highlight of the fall was the Sox winning the World Series. Gabe and Dante are finally starting to get interested in baseball, so they'd wake up every morning asking if the Sox had won the previous night's game, and they're starting to learn some of the player's names. I love that they're getting into it now, and when it seemed pretty certain that the win was going to happen, we woke them up so they could see the last three outs of the game. It was a nice moment to share with them.

I was so tempted to go up to Boston for the parade, but the reality of doing something like that with three small children was just too overwhelming. We watched some of it on TV, though, and it made me so happy to see all the celebrating and happiness on Boylston Street.

More recently, we headed down to Hartford for Lego Kids Fest, and it was every bit as amazing as we all anticipated it would be. We were there for just over 4 hours, and every second of those 4 hours was filled with Legomania. The boys were in heaven!

Aside from all the activities, they're just up to their usual shenanigans. When I went away for a weekend with my friends last month, Dante was smart enough to know that he should take that opportunity to wear a shirt that I've told him he's not allowed to wear out of the house because it's so stained. (I haven't thrown it out because it's one of his favorites, but made it clear that it was an at-home shirt only).

He knew that Dad either wouldn't notice or wouldn't care that it was stained, and he'd get away with wearing it - and he was right. Dad did take a few pictures of them that weekend, though, so Dante was busted!

The holiday season has all three of them pretty excited, but Dante most of all. He is literally bouncing off the walls, and on the furniture, and everywhere he goes. He bounces, he runs, he jumps, he dances, and he's a walking sound-effects machine. It's INSANE!  I knew we were in trouble when he walked into our room, fully dressed, at 4:45am on Thanksgiving.

Carmine is fully immersed in all things Christmas and Santa, too. He's even been perusing the toy catalogs with Gabe and Dante, and pointing out to me all the things he wants. 

He's also perfecting the art of arguing with me about everything - a skill he's picked up from his big brothers. And one night at dinner, he asked me for more of something and I told him there wasn't any more, and he insisted that there was. And when I continued to tell him that there wasn't, he looked at me and said "Stop arguing with me."  

Another time he walked into the garage, looked at all the toys scattered around, pointed at it and said "This is a disaster!"  I guess he is listening to everything I say. And listening carefully to his brothers, too, judging by the new phrase he's picked up recently - "It wasn't my fault."

Last year he went through a phase where he wore his Batman cape everywhere for a few weeks. This year it was his fleece bathrobe. He was seen out and about with his robe on, and I just went with it, because some battles aren't worth fighting.

Being in school is helping him refine some of his funny little toddler-isms, but I'm glad that it hasn't 'fixed' all of them. I love when he misspeaks in his adorable little voice. Some of his Carmine-speak:  bullzoder instead of bulldozer; soared when he means to say sore; tehgar instead of guitar; playdid instead of played;  juice apple instead of apple juice; singing Jingle Bells as "Jingle bells, jingle all the way, there was a horse and a sleigh."

And when he said something particularly adorable the other day, I laughed and said "Carmine, do you have any idea how cute you are?"  In reply, he held his hand up to his forehead (as if measuring his height), and said "This cute!" 

He's going through a bit of a mommy phase at the moment, and has even gone so far as to tell Scott "I don't like you."  I know that Scott knows not to take it personally, but it's stil gotta hurt a little. This too shall pass, though, and I think the best thing for us to do is not make too big a deal out of it.

The house is decked out for Christmas, and we're getting the tree this weekend, and doing the same Advent calendar we did last year, where we have a special activity for each day.

A lot of the ones from last year are there again - making gingerbread houses, decorating sugar cookies, donating toys to the toy drive, decorating the mini-trees in their rooms - but I tried to add a few new ones, too. One that I'm most looking forward to is next week, when I'm going to take them for a drive in their PJs after dinner to check out Christmas lights.

It's a crazy time of year, and Dante's expression in this photo is pretty illustrative of what our house feels like most days (me included).

But the crazy is part of the fun, and when they're not being completely insane, they're pretty darn adorable - so the crazy is worth it.

School, Coaching, and Assorted Aches and Pains

All three boys are off to a good start in the new school year. Gabe and Dante are in their third week, and are starting to settle in. We're still dealing with 'out-the-door-in-the-morning' and 'just-walked-in-the-door-in-the-afternoon' chaos and craziness, but that won't ever go away completely. As long as we can reduce it a little, I'll be happy.

They're both happy with their teachers, and although Gabe was a little bummed that some of his best friends are not in his class this year, he seems to be doing ok and adjusting well. And aside from being completely exhausted every night, Dante is doing great.

Carmine started last week, and he did great, as I expected he would. His first full day of school was a Wednesday, and he only goes to school Monday through Wednesday, so Thursday through Sunday, every time we drove past his school, he'd yell "I want to go to school today!"

The only problem is that he thinks that now that he's going to school, he should be going on the bus, like his brothers. Except when he says that, he says he wants to go on the bus like "your brothers" - because I commented one day to him about how 'your brothers made a huge mess in their room,' and he doesn't really understand what 'your' means, so he's been referring to them as "your brothers."  It took me a few minutes to figure out what on earth he was talking about, but once I did figure it out, I couldn't stop laughing). 

His reports about what he did at school mostly involve the sandbox and cars, so I think he's having fun : )  He still has his share of funny mispronunciations - he was playing a racing game with his cars the other day, and I heard him saying "On your MARCH, get set, go!" He also still calls thunder "Unther."

But mostly he's a very articulate chatterbox, and continues to just walk up and say hi and chat with just about anyone. We went to the store after his first day of school and he told everyone he saw that "I went to school today!"

I took all three boys to a Paw Sox playoff game Sunday by myself, and it couldn't have gone better! Gabe and Dante paid attention and cheered and jumped up and down the whole game, and Carmine did really, really well - made it the entire 9 innings! 

And for some reason the stadium was deserted, so even though we only had general admission tickets, we were able to move down to box seats, and ended up just a few rows back from the field, right near home plate. And, they won and advanced to the next round of the playoffs, and we got to see the team celebrating on the field with champagne - a great afternoon all around!

We're definitely going to be taking a trip up to Fenway next summer - I'm already excited for it - it's been WAY too long since I've been to a Sox game, and it's going to be so fun to share it with the boys!

The amazing toothless Dante!

Labor Day weekend - our farewell to summer - was less than stellar, weather-wise. We had a fun family party in CT on Saturday, and we did make it to the beach Sunday, despite the cloudy, gray weather, but Monday it poured most of the day, so we ended up catching a movie. Not how I wanted to close out the summer, but it was fun for all 5 of us to go together.

My heart aches a little every time I look at this picture. I LOVE our beach days, and am so sad when they come to an end.

One good thing about the season coming to an end, though, is that now when the weather is nice, we can just stroll onto the beach whenever we feel like it, and although it can still get a little crowded if it's a warm day, it doesn't compare to the summer crowds.

There is a lot to be said for having the tourists gone. We probably won't go for a full, all-day beach day again until next summer, but even spending an hour there is lovely, and we're lucky to have that option.

Running is going mostly well. I'm still in the 'training but not really training' mode, and with mostly cooler, drier mornings, I've had some great workouts. Still mainly focused on the October half, but also hoping I can have a good race at the 5K I'm doing in two weeks.

I've really become less and less of a fan of the 5K, but I do want to get better at the distance, so I threw a few shorter repeats into this week's track workout, and will do the same next week. After running so many 1200s and mile repeats the past few weeks, doing just 800s and 400s seemed so strange. The 400s flew by!

The rest of this week is going to be cross-training, though, since my old shin injury is flaring up a bit. It's been pretty quiet for nearly two years now, and I think it was aggravated by a combination of two 40-mile weeks in a row, plus the fact that my shoes are nearly ready to be replaced. I've been massaging it like crazy, stretching, and icing, and I'm hoping that that TLC plus a bit of rest is all I need. If it doesn't feel better after a week, I'll put a call in to PT. 

I'm not freaking out, and I don't think it's a huge deal, but it does have me a little bummed out. But I have nobody to blame but myself. Clearly 40-mile weeks are not doable for me - at least not 2 in a row. Lesson definitely learned!

My running coach certification is officially official. I got my CPR and First Aid certification, and received my coaching certificate in the mail yesterday.

Now I just need to get myself organized so that I can start getting clients and doing some coaching! I had hoped to get started with that process over the summer, but there was just no time. So now I'm getting going on setting up an LLC, getting insurance, and making some business cards. Lots to do, and it feels overwhelming at times, but I'll get it done.

I'm still getting used to the idea of thinking of myself as a coach, too. Long before I even thought about pursuing this, I often had people ask me advice about running, and I was always happy to give it, but followed it with a disclaimer that I wasn't an expert and was just giving them my two cents.

And when people ask me questions now, I still kind of feel that I should add that disclaimer. I need to get comfortable and confident with the fact that I am trained in this topic now, and I am qualified to help. I think once I've actually created a few training plans and truly coached a few people, it'll be easier to feel that way.

In addition to the cranky shin I mentioned above, I've also been dealing with bunion issues. I have them on both feet, and the one on my left foot was acting up at the very end of my Boston training (causing a really nice freakout just a couple weeks out from race day).

It quieted down, and hasn't bothered me since, but a few weeks ago, the right foot started hurting. Because the bunions cause misalignment of your big toe, it puts a lot of stress on the joint right below that toe, and mine are being subjected to a lot of wear and tear.

Because my feet weren't hideous enough with all the callouses and missing toenails.....

 

I saw my podiatrist, and he assured me that my shoes and orthotics are fine, and are not contributing to the problem in any way. That's good news. Unfortunately, though, the bunions and associated joint issues are not going to go away by themselves, and at some point in my life, I'm going to need surgery to fix them.

It remains to be seen when that point in time is going to arrive, but as he put it "the pain will be my  indicator." Right now, the pain is intermittent and not debilitating, and there's no reason for me to rush into surgery as long as that continues. My course of action is to just back off a bit on my mileage and ice the affected toe.

Once that stops working, though, and the pain doesn't subside with those measures, it's going to be time to get it fixed. The problem is, getting it fixed is going to mean 3 weeks in a cast/on crutches, followed by several more weeks in a boot, and a recovery period of 4 - 6 months of NO RUNNING. And I need both feet done, which is going to mean going through this process twice.

As of right now, it doesn't seem imminent, and being able to just put it off is a good thing. But knowing that it's looming out there kind of sucks. And beyond not being able to run for so long, let's not even mention the logistics of trying to tend to three children while on crutches!

I'm going to attempt to just forget about it for the time being, though. I'll cross that bridge (slowly, on crutches) when I come to it.  And I will be thankful that, although it's going to be a major inconvenience when I do finally have to deal with this, in the grand scheme of things, it's not really all that bad. Gotta keep it all in perspective and be grateful for how fortunate I am.

My feet may be ugly, and they may have issues, but they've carried me through many, many miles already, and I fully expect them to carry me through many, many more.