Me and The Boys

Monday Musings

Gabe is coming down with a cold. Poor kid.

Scott's mom was here to watch them this afternoon while I went up to work for a few hours, and she said he started coughing quite a bit after he got up from his nap. And his voice is getting all raspy, too. We gave him some Tylenol before bed, hoping to stave off any fever that might be imminent, but we could be in for a rough night. I'm just hoping it doesn't turn into anything too bad - and, of course, hoping that we don't ALL get it......

I had planned on going to the Moms Club monthly meeting tomorrow morning, and to the gym, but if Gabe is coughing and sniffling, we'll end up staying home. I don't want to be spreading his germs all over town. And certainly, if he has a fever, we're not going anywhere. But with any luck, this is just a minor cold, and we'll at least be able to get outside in the yard and enjoy what's supposed to be a gorgeous day tomorrow.

We got outside for a while this morning, before lunch, and Gabe had a blast with his bubble machine.

Dante likes to look at his feet while he walks. As you might suspect, this results in a lot of bumps on the old noggin, since he's so busy looking at his feet, he forgets to look up and see that he's about to walk into a wall or a table. And apparently, Scott used to do this same thing when he was a baby. So they don't just look alike.....

This morning, while I was blow-drying my hair, we played this little game that's become a regular occurrence lately. I have to take breaks from drying my hair, set the dryer to the "cool" setting, and they take turns running up so I can blow the cool air in their faces - and then, of course, they run away shrieking and giggling. It takes me twice as long to get my hair dried, but it's worth it to hear the way they giggle.

The two of them actually played really, really nicely this morning, and Gabe was doing a fantastic job of listening to me and doing what I asked him to do. I made sure to tell him how proud I was of him, and I really, truly was.

I haven't even been writing about it, but the past two weeks were pretty bad in terms of him pushing Dante. He's always had a tendency to push Dante, especially when Dante takes something of his, or if he's angry about something else - or if he just gets riled up and excited about something. So there's been a fair amount of Dante pushing going on during the past few months, and it seemed to be getting more and more frequent, and nothing I was doing was getting the point across to Gabe that he needed to STOP pushing.

We tried time-outs in a chair; time-outs in his room, with all the toys removed; taking away tv privileges; taking away special toys; taking away non-special toys; rewarding him for not pushing; explaining to him that he was HURTING Dante - you name it, we tried it. Nothing was working. So, naturally, I was getting frustrated, and was raising my voice - and yes, yelling - more than I care to admit. It's just so unbelievably aggravating when you KNOW that they KNOW they're not supposed to be doing something, and THEY STILL DO IT ANYWAY!  Yeah, I know - welcome to parenting, right?   Sigh. 

So, anyway, I finally came to the realization that my getting so worked up about the whole pushing issue was only causing him to do it more. It may or may not have begun as an attention-seeking thing, but that's definitely what it had become. It was exactly like what happened a little over a year ago, when he was constantly screaming. He didn't care that the attention he got was negative - he wanted that attention, and would do whatever it took to get it.

So I resolved to handle the pushing incidents much more calmly and quietly. I do still give him a time-out in his chair, but it's all done very matter-of-factly, with absolutely no yelling. And something I'm also doing is, while Gabe is sitting in his time-out, I'm spending those few minutes doting on Dante. It sounds mean, but I want Gabe to get the message that pushing and hurting people is not the way to get attention.

And, after a week of toning it down, there's been a LOT less pushing going on. I can't say there isn't any, but come on, I have two boys who are 22 months apart in age - I don't know that there will ever be a day with no pushing. But I am glad to see things improving a bit in that area. And I'm glad to have gotten myself to a point where I feel so much less anxiety and frustration over it. It's not always easy to remain cool, calm, and collected when dealing with two very active toddlers, but it definitely pays off, so I'll be trying really, really hard to keep my cool. 

Gabe's Morning, In His Own Words

Scott's mom arrived around noon today - she was babysitting while I went up to work for a few hours - and when she got here, I asked Gabe if he was going to tell her what we did this morning. I'm thinking that he'll tell her about how we went to the park and had our snack, and then spent an hour playing on the slide and the swings.

Nope.

Instead, he said  "I push Dante."

Then he proceeded to tell her - with a very sad, serious face - about all his other infractions from this morning, including how he threw blocks, so I had to take the blocks away; and how he threw his matchbox cars, so I had to take those away. And then he even brought her over to the living room to point out the block table, which I had to take away last night, because he refused to share it with Dante.

So what I want to know is - if all of this taking away of toys and privileges obviously makes such an impression on him, WHY DOESN'T HE CEASE AND DESIST THE OFFENDING BEHAVIOR?!

It just doesn't add up.

Anyway.........  we had a nice time at the park this morning, and Gabe did a really good job of listening and staying with me. I reminded him before we got out of the car that if he ran away from me, we'd have to leave, and he very solemnly said "okay."  And, miracle of miracles, he listened! Dante listened to me TWICE in the past two days - I told him to stop touching the nightlight, and he stopped, and I told him to stop touching the toilet paper, and he stopped - amazing stuff going on over here!

Dante is now the one running me ragged while we're at the park, though, because he still needs me to help him up and down the stairs and ramps and stuff. And he wouldn't stop today - he just kept wanting to go up and down and up and down and up and down. It was exhausting - and fun : )

Dante discovered a new game yesterday while the boys were having lunch at the picnic table outside. The picnic table has a small hole in the middle in which you can place an umbrella, if you choose to buy one.

Well, we may be buying one - or finding something with which to plug up the hole - because the size of the hole in the picnic table perfectly matches the size of the pieces that I cut Dante's sandwich and apple into, and Dante was quite delighted to figure this out. My normally wonderful eater ended up stuffing half his sandwich down the hole in the picnic table. And, as you might suspect, Gabe thought this was absolutely positively hysterical! 

I don't know which is going to be worse - having them at each other's throats, or having them in cahoots, conspiring against me......

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P.S. 1.5-mile run this morning. No pain. Holding my breath, and daydreaming more and more about getting out for a REAL run soon!!!!!!

Done

I don't have to go to work tomorrow. Or Monday. Or Tuesday. Or Wednesday. Etc., etc., etc.

I feel so free, and so liberated.

I feel like my "real life" is about to begin : )