Me and The Boys

The Next Step On The Journey

I had my MRI last Monday, and after what felt like months but was actually just a few days, I got the results on Thursday. Happily, the report contained the word "normal" a whopping ten times. 

Needless to say, I was incredibly relieved. I had been feeling better since I wasn't running, but was still very nervous that there was more going on than the doctors had suspected, and I felt much better knowing that there wasn't. 

I also got the ok to try a very gradual return to running, using a run/walk protocol to really ease back into it. So of course shortly after I got home from my appointment, I changed into my running gear and headed out. 

I've completed three very short, slow run/walks since Thursday, and all have gone relatively well. I can't say that I feel 100%, and I still feel some discomfort and stiffness in my lower back and piriformis, but no pain. 

And of course it's been incredible just to be able to get out and run. But at the same time, it's been incredibly frustrating to go run/walk for 30 minutes, with a total of only 16 minutes running, and to think about how a month ago a normal midweek run was 8 or 9 miles. Part of me is still reeling from the fact that I fell so far so fast. 

I know I can't go back and change anything, and I'm trying not to dwell on it, but I'm also letting myself have those little moments of anger and frustration, because that's just where I am right now.

And acknowledging that doesn't discount the immense gratitude I have for the fact that, although it's only 16 minutes, that's way better than zero minutes. 

Trying to go back to my word for the year. Embrace. I have to embrace the good and the bad that I'm experiencing right now, because it's the only way forward, and forward is where I need to go.  

In addition to getting back to running, I also finally made it back to yoga last week, for the first time in a month. I probably could have gone sooner, but I was paranoid. Having a back injury freaked me out, and I was terrified that anything I did was going to cause debilitating and maybe even chronic pain. So I was extra cautious. But I missed yoga every bit as much as I missed running, and it felt so good just to walk into the studio. 

I had myself a good cry in savasana, and I left there feeling like a completely different person. Running again brought me most of the way back to myself, and adding in yoga brought me all the way back. I felt like me again, and I felt like a fog had been lifted. 

Which is not to say that my heart doesn't still ache a little when I read or hear something about Boston. Someone said something to me about how it was such a warm day, and going for a PR as I had planned to would have been very tough and potentially led to a huge disappointment - and I agree, but I still also feel like I would rather have had the opportunity to try and fail than to not get the chance to even try. 

So yes, the disappointment of not being able to run on Patriot's Day still stings a bit, but the sting has dulled, and I know it will continue to do so.

And right now I just need to continue to work on righting my mind and my body so that when I'm ready physically, I can start to think about starting the chase all over again.

As much as I wish I could have reached my goal in Boston a few weeks ago, I'll be the first to admit that I love the thrill of the chase and the journey it involves just as much as reaching the destination.  

Onward.  

The Final Piece of the Puzzle - Boston Training, Week 3

When I said I was running a 20-miler this past weekend, most people were a little surprised that I'd have a training run of that distance so early on in the plan. But if I hadn't taken two weeks off, I'd be 5 weeks into the plan, which makes it slightly less surprising. And if you factor in the really strong base I had built up prior to the hip flexor issue arising, with long runs around 13 miles most weekends, it's even less surprising. 

So yes, I ran 20 miles. And not only did I run 20 miles, but I absolutely crushed my pace goals, and felt great doing it. 

Backing up a bit, though, it was a big week overall, with my first speed workout since August, and a really tough tempo run, also. 

The speedwork was mile repeats, and I did them on the bike path on a very chilly day, and there is nothing quite like mile repeats to warm you up when the temperature is hovering around 20 degrees. By the time I started the third mile, I was wishing I had short sleeves on!  

Even when I'm in the thick of training and doing speedwork once a week, I still get nervous before every workout. So heading out to do my first speedwork in months increased those nerves tenfold. But once I got warmed up, my head got in the game and I got to work. First mile in 6:52. Whew. Second mile in 6:49. Getting tired, but I know I can do the last one faster - 6:42. 

And when I finished, I felt like I wanted to do one more - three didn't seem like enough. But I reminded myself that I hadn't done speedwork in several months, and I am still technically coming off an injury, so three was probably plenty. I had hoped I could do all of the repeats in under 6:40, but I'm happy with how the workout went, and I know if I continue to work hard, my times will drop. 

Later in the week I tackled my first real tempo run, and it went better than expected. A one-mile warmup and one-mile cooldown, and 6 miles at an average 7:15 pace. I've long felt like those tempo runs are so instrumental in preparing for a marathon, and although I know speedwork is important, too, I feel like the tempo runs help me more mentally, as I'm forced to keep working hard without breaks - a skill that comes in really handy when you're running 26.2 miles :-) 

Friday was an easy 7-mile run at sunrise, for which I was very grateful, and then a day of rest Saturday before the real test - the 20-miler on Sunday. 

I had planned to run with friends from the beach, but life intervened and I ended up just running solo from home, but I think it worked out better in the end, as the route from home is the one I ran so many times while training for Boston 2013, and it is mostly downhill in the early miles and mostly uphill in the final miles, so  it's a great Boston training route. 

My goal was 5 miles at 8:40, 5 at 8:20, 5 at 8:00, and 5 at 7:50. What I did was 5 at 8:30, 5 at 8:15, 5 at 8:00 or just below, and the final 5 in 7:52, 7:48, 7:45, 7:36, 7:32. The last two miles were a struggle, but those were the only two miles where I felt really and truly challenged to hold the pace. 

Finishing that run felt beyond amazing. I completely surpassed my goal, and I felt pretty great doing it. To know that I can run an effort like that so early in the training cycle gives me so much confidence that I can make some serious progress in the coming weeks, and I'm feeling much more optimistic about getting the PR I'm hoping for. 

And thankfully, my hip responded incredibly well to such a tough week of training. I'm being extra diligent about foam rolling and stretching and strengthening, and keeping up with yoga a few times a week, and it has made all the difference in the world. My hip was tight and stiff after the 20, but by the next day, it felt fine. And thanks to all the extra recovery efforts, the rest of my legs felt great post-run, too. I could barely tell that I had run 20 miles the previous day. 

So the body seems to be ok with going along for this ride, and after this week, I can safely say that the mind is stepping up to the plate, too. My fight is back, my resolve is back, and my passion is back. As I ran the mile repeats on Tuesday, I started thinking about how tired my legs were, and then I remembered that my legs are supposed to be tired. That's what marathon training is - teaching your legs to push through no matter how tired they are. 

And when I ran the tempo miles Thursday, I had a moment of panic around mile 4, certain that there was no way I'd be able to hold the pace, and that I was too warm and I had to take my mittens off and unzip my vest and then I had a hill coming up in the next mile, and how was I possibly going to get this done???  

And that's when the yoga creeped in - in a good way. I took a breath and the words that popped into my head were "Be here now." Instantly the panic vanished, and I knew that I needed to just focus on what I was doing right there at that very moment. One thing at a time. One step at a time. One mile at a time. 

I can't say that the rest of the run was easy, because it wasn't - it was very challenging. But my head was in the right place to handle it, so even when it got tough, I kept going. And that is the final piece of the puzzle, and I'm so glad it's finally in place.

It takes a lot of physical training to prepare for a marathon, and that takes a lot out of you, but the mental training takes even more. And I think that dedicating myself to yoga and mini meditation sessions a few times a week is giving me an edge I've never had before. I've always been able to call up the mental toughness when I really needed it, but I feel like now there's more of a clarity and focus to it. It's not just the means to an end - it's engaging in the process and appreciating it for what it is. 

So much of being a runner, and pushing yourself to improve, is all about movement. The running itself, the post-run recovery, the planning of your training schedule - it's all about action. But now I'm seeing that it can and should also be about the stillness in between the movement. I've never been the type of person who likes to be still. I have a hard time relaxing, and am very good at finding things to do even when there's really nothing that needs to be done. 

But I'm learning that there are so many things to be found in stillness - joy, power, strength, solace, peace, clarity - but mostly joy. I still like to be busy, but I have a newfound appreciation and a newfound need to find times where I'm not busy - times to hit the pause button and recenter myself.

I feel very certain it's helping my running, and it's also helping my life. I find more reserves of patience with the kids (don't get me wrong - there are still plenty of times where they drive me completely insane and I lose it, but not as many times as there used to be), and I'm finding way more patience for and appreciation of winter. 

Winter has thrown me for a loop the past few years, to the point where I've dreaded the arrival of the shorter days and colder air and seemingly endless snow and ice. But this year - aided by an unusually long, beautiful fall season, I have to add -  I'm coping much better, and have even found myself truly enjoying running in the cold temperatures. 

It's only January, though, and this is when the worst of the weather hit last year, and it didn't let up for nearly two months, so we'll see how I feel in March. I'm optimistic, though, and having a good attitude is half the battle. 

So that's where I'm at - 3 weeks down, 13 to go. All In. 

Shortest Year-End Post Ever - Too Busy Looking Ahead

I usually do a year in review post, but I'm not feeling inspired to do it this year. I started the year not running, progressed to barely running, ran some crappy races, a couple decent races, didn't race an awful lot, enjoyed a lot of runs with my friends, saw a lot of spectacular sunrises, and closed out the year with my best race in a long, long time. 

All in all, I only ran 7 races - the least I've run in quite a while. And I truly believe that's what my body and my mind needed this year - a break. Ever since I began dreaming of a BQ back in 2011, I've been racing like a maniac. I don't regret it for a minute, and I had a fantastic few years, with lots of PRs, lots of full and half marathons, and lots of success at so many distances. 

But my heart was definitely not in it this year. I didn't have the drive, the passion, the determination - frankly, I just didn't have much interest in pushing myself way out of my comfort zone and testing my limits. I was happy just to run. And I did plenty of that, with a total of nearly 1,300 miles for the year. 

It was really nice to have an entire year off from marathon training, especially since I did two marathons last year. It was liberating and freeing - and although there were times I found myself a tiny bit jealous of friends who were training, for the most part I was happy not being a slave to a training program. 

Submitting my Boston registration in September did get me a little more excited about the prospect of getting back to training, and I was really looking forward to kicking things off in late December, but a little hip flexor and piriformis issue threw a bit of a wrench into those plans. 

I took two weeks off, which was really not that big a deal, since I had written myself an 18-week plan, knowing that 16 weeks is really sufficient, so the extra two weeks would give me some wiggle room. I wish I hadn't had to use it right off the bat, but at least it was there! 

So the first full week of training was two weeks ago, and thankfully had no planned speedwork. I got in all the miles, including a 16-miler, and was shocked at how good I felt afterward - not 100%, but far, far better than I thought I'd feel, especially since I had run a 10-miler the day before that.

Week two went well also, and aside from replacing a track workout with an easy run, I got all the miles in, and even capped off the week with a race worked into my long run. I had 13 miles planned, and there was a 4.8-mile race in Little Compton on Saturday that I've always been curious about, and I knew some other members of the running club would be there, so I figured I'd run some miles beforehand, jump into the race, and finish my long run with company. 

I had no plans whatsoever for how I'd run the race miles. I thought I'd probably hold a tempo-ish pace of 7:30, and would have been happy with that. I was able to get in 7.5 miles before the race, most of them around an 8:15 pace, and was feeling great when I got to the starting line. It was a beautiful area to run, and I was looking forward to a few more miles. 

I wore long sleeves and capris for the early miles, but after dashing in to register and get my number, I made a quick stop at the car to change into shorts and my club singlet and arm warmers -  temps were in the mid-40s, and that outfit ended up being the perfect choice. I wasn't too hot or too cold - ideal running conditions. 

The course was really nice - mostly flat, with just some very minor inclines; quiet; and scenic. I settled in pretty quickly to a pace in the low 7s, and still really wasn't giving much thought to a plan of any sort. A friend from the club was running just ahead of me, and we're somewhat evenly matched, pace-wise, so I figured I'd keep her in my sights. The only wild card was that I had already run almost 8 miles, so I wasn't sure if I'd be able to match her pace the whole time. But I thought it was worth trying. 

I closed the gap between the two of us right around mile 2.5, I think, and stayed pretty much right on her heels for the rest of the race. There was a few minutes around mile 3 where I felt like I could pull ahead, but I reminded myself of the 7.5 miles I had run previously, and reminded myself that I was already running plenty fast, and wasn't even there to really race, and I just wanted to finish up my long run. 

So I held back where I was, and ended up crossing the finish line 8 seconds behind her. Of course, just as we crossed the finish line I heard the announcer call us out as the third and fourth females, and when awards were given out, I found out that the prize for 3rd place female was $50. If I had known I had a shot at raking in some cash, I might have kicked it in at the finish :-) 

I did place 2nd in my age group, though, and my prize was a really cool glass medal made by a local artist. I love getting unique prizes like that - so much more memorable than a regular medal or plaque. 

In the end, I ran 13 miles with an overall 7:56 pace - a very solid effort for only my second run of this training plan. My splits for the race part of it were 7:15, 7:12, 7:10, 7:29, 7:16.  Final time - 35:15; 7:20 pace, 2nd place age group, 4th female overall, 26/165 finishers. 

The best part of the whole day, though, was that even with the increased effort in the final miles of the 13, my hip felt great. It was a little sore later in the afternoon, but I spent plenty of time stretching and foam rolling, and it was back to feeling good on Sunday. 

So I'm going to continue to move ahead with training as planned, and will give the speedwork another try tomorrow. When I tried it last week, my hip was not happy with me, but I'm hoping that this week it will work out. But if it doesn't, I'll just run easy again and log the miles I need to log. 

I had told myself a few weeks ago that if I wasn't able to really train all-out and go for the PR I'm aiming for in Boston, that I'd skip it and run a fall marathon instead. But now I'm sort of backtracking on that. Because, well, it's Boston. And Boston has a piece of my heart. 

I'm hopeful that I can still go after that PR, but as long as I'm healthy enough to complete the necessary mileage to run a respectable 26.2 miles in April, I'm going to go for it. 

I'm allowing myself to get a little excited about it now, too, which I had kind of stopped myself from doing before, just because I wasn't certain if it was going to happen or not. And as much as I dread the torture of a speed workout, there's a little part of me that's almost looking forward to it. Maybe not the workout itself, but the feeling of accomplishment afterward. 

I still have a long road ahead of me, and I'm determined to take it one week, one run, and one step at a time. Hopefully it will end up where I'm thinking it will, but regardless, I know it'll end where it's meant to. 

Another thing I'm determined to do this time around is remain committed to truly recovering from my runs. I am very guilty of skimping on stretching and foam rolling, and I pay for it. Focusing more on that these past two weeks has made a huge difference, as has my now regular yoga practice. I initially told myself that I wanted to be sure to take one yoga class a week, but now have become completely hooked, and crave my time on the mat almost as much as I crave running. 

There are two classes at my local yoga studio that are my absolute favorite, and I've been going to both every week without fail. I had to miss the Wednesday class one week, and was so disappointed. I wish I could go even more, but the time and the expense present some challenges beyond the twice-weekly classes, so I'm supplementing with doing some shorter sessions at home using online video classes.

It's not the same, but it works in a pinch, and I've learned that much like running, something is better than nothing. A 20-minute session at home doesn't leave me feeling quite as blissed out as my 90-minute classes in the studio, but it does leave me feeling calmer and more centered, and gives me a little bit of a reset. So I've tried to get better at fitting in those shorter sessions at home whenever I can, to get me through to the next time I can get into the studio and get my real fix : ) 

I notice so many changes in myself, physically and mentally, and I love what yoga is bringing to my life. I saw a great quote the other day that sums it up so well:  "Yoga is the journey of the self through the self to the self." 

Running has taught me so much about myself, and yoga is teaching me things that running couldn't. They complement each other so nicely, and I'm glad I've finally realized that. 

More Yoga, and Less Music

I had to miss last week's yoga class, so I was really looking forward to this week. I'll be honest, though - the last thing I want to do at 7:30 at night is leave the house and go workout. I'm so much more of a morning person, and I will generally do anything I can to avoid evening workouts. So even though I was looking forward to class last night, it was still a bit of an effort to convince myself it would be worth it.

But once I got there, there was no doubt in my mind that it would be worth it. Just walking into the room gave me a sense of calm and peacefulness. When we began the class, I was painfully aware of how tight and stiff all my muscles were after the morning's track workout, and couldn't wait to give them the TLC they so desperately needed.

As the class went on, I felt better and better. I was working, but also relaxing - this class is such a good combination of both the mental and physical aspects of yoga, it's amazing. All my muscles were loosening and stretching and lengthening, and the steady stream of chatter that resides in my brain was, if not completely gone, at least pushed to the background.

It was another wonderful class, and I walked out feeling loose and limber and refreshed. For me, yoga is one of those things that I don't know how much I need until I've actually done it and reaped the rewards.

There are three more classes in this series, and I fully intend to sign up again. I know this is making me a better runner, and I suspect it's improving my mood as well. It sounds all hokey and new-agey, but I really do leave class with a lighter heart and a happier frame of mind - two more great reasons to stick with it.

In the interest of being more mindful, I've also been trying to run without music more often lately, and I'm really finding some huge benefits to being more in tune with my body while I'm running. This is probably not news to a lot of people, but since I've been running with music for so long, it's kind of a revelation to me.

I don't think I'll ever swear off my iPod altogether, because I do still love the affect my favorite running songs have on me when I'm toughing it out on a long run or a big race effort. But the quiet has been really nice, and I think I'm going to opt for it more than I used to.

And after reading this Runner's World article today, I'm even considering running the Jamestown half without music and - gasp! - without my Garmin!  I have run a few races without my iPod, but I don't know that I've ever run a race without my Garmin. I'm really curious to try it, though. I think it would be an incredibly liberating experience - to just get out there and run, without checking splits or paces.

After my big efforts for Hartford and Gansett, I kind of feel like my running is undergoing a big shift - actually, a lot of big shifts. I'm making much more of an effort to run with other people, instead of always going by myself, and really enjoying it. I'm also finding myself really drawn to helping other people start running, or improve their running.

I'm in no way certified to be an actual coach, but I'm certainly capable of helping and supporting a friend who's working through the Couch to 5K program (in awe of the fact that she's doing so while running with her two kids in a double jogging stroller!!!), helping another friend PR at a half-marathon, and setting up a running club for a group of elementary school kids. 

Those are all things that, a few years ago, I never would have imagined myself doing. But now that I'm doing them, I'm finding that it's bringing me just as much enjoyment and satisfaction as chasing down my own personal goals. And I'm finding myself thinking more and more about how I might someday be able to turn this little hobby of mine into a job of some sort.

That's much more of a long-term goal, but I do feel like all the things I'm doing now are a good way for me to figure out if that is something I really want to do, and if it is, I'm getting in some good practice - and having fun doing it!

Last year, I thought that qualifying for Gansett and Boston were the two ultimate running goals for me, and I also thought it would take me longer to achieve those goals, so I didn't really have much planned beyond that.

But now I've checked both of those items off my bucket list, and although I do have plenty of other goals I'm working on with my own running, I'm having just as much fun with all these other endeavors. I'm learning a lot, feeling very rewarded and inspired, and gaining a great sense of balance. It's all good : )

Speedwork, Swimming, and Yoga - All In A Week's Work

Finally feeling completely recovered from Gansett is a lovely thing. As odd as it may sound, I feel like running the half this past weekend was what really brought me back to feeling like my old self. If I had raced it, or even given an 80% effort, I know I wouldn't feel that way. But since I ran it nice and easy, it ended up being just what my body needed.

And honestly, almost as soon as I crossed that finish line, I felt like I was ready to move on and ready to start tackling some tough workouts again. I was seriously chomping at the bit, anxious to get down to the track this week and get in some speedwork.

My big goal for this year is to break 21 minutes in a 5K. I've got 39 seconds to go, so I have some work ahead of me for sure. To that end, I was at the track bright and early the other morning, facing down a series of 5 x 400, 400, and 200. It seemed like a good workout to start with - not too easy, but not too long and intense, either.

While I was training for Gansett, I did almost all of my track workouts either on the treadmill or in the neighborhood loop just down the road from the gym. I think only one or two of them were actually done on the track. So it was actually kind of nice to be back there again.

That optimism and eagerness carried me right through a fantastic workout - nearly all of my 400s were run at right around a 6:30 pace, and the 200s around a 6:20 pace. The 4th time through was the hardest, but once I got that done, I knew I only had to go through the cycle one more time, and I finished feeling exhausted, but exhilarated.

And I remembered that, although I complain and whine about speedwork, I also secretly love it. I never fail to walk off that track feeling amazingly accomplished, and unstoppable.

That night I headed off to my first Yoga for Runners class. I always say I need to make time for yoga, but I never quite get around to it. I knew the only way I'd stick with it is if I shelled out the cash and signed up for a class that meets regularly, so that's what I did. And judging by how amazing I felt after the first class, I am certain that I made a good decision.

It was exactly what I was looking for - a good workout, but also completely restorative and peaceful and balancing. And my lower back and piriformis, which have been giving me trouble on and off since my last 20-miler during Gansett training, felt better than they have in weeks.

Very happy that I've committed to this, and already looking forward to next week's class. I know I need this, and I'm glad I'm finally taking the steps necessary to make it happen.

And today, to round things out, I was back in the pool for many, many, many laps. I had actually planned on running today, but when I got to the gym, I saw that the lap lane was wide open, so I figured I'd take advantage and jump in (glad I always keep my bathing suit and goggles in my gym bag!).

I did a bunch of different intervals - some 100s, some 200s, a 600, some 400s - and in the end, it all added up to 2,200 meters. My longest swim ever!  Took me just under an hour, but I honestly felt great the whole time - I was only starting to feel tired towards the very end.

I'm glad I have the endurance, but I know I need to work on my form. If any swimmers out there (e.g., Wes!!!!) can tell me the top three drills I should do, I'm all ears. I know I need to work those into my training, but I want to do the ones that are most effective.

As if that weren't enough cross-training, I think I'm finally going to get out for my first bike ride of the season this weekend. My bike needed some cleaning and a new set of tires, but now that that's taken care of, there's no excuse not to get out there - and I'm not looking for one, either. I haven't been on my bike since last August, so I can't wait!!!!  My triathlon is 11 weeks away, and I will be more than ready!

A few other exciting items to report on the running side of things, but that will have to wait for another post. Stay tuned.....

T-Minus 5 Days

I remember this time last year, feeling like I wished the big day would just be over with, so that Gabe and Dante's insane excitement would finally abate. I feel that way a little bit this year, but not quite so much. They're definitely insanely excited, but either I'm handling it better, or they're acting slightly less crazy. Either way, they're still driving us a little batty, but I'm mostly excited to see them so excited and happy.

They are particulary excited about all the lights I have up around the house. The first thing they do when they get up is turn them all on, and when they turn the tree lights on, they do a countdown first. It's so cute! And of course we're listening to all our Christmas music on the iPod whenever we're in the car, and I love hearing them sing along to them all - including, as Dante calls it "Harp the Herald Angels Sing."

I took Gabe out yesterday to buy a present for Dante, and took Dante out last week to buy a present for Gabe. They made very good choices, and I think they'll both be very happy with what the other bought them. It's fun to do that with them, because they do try to think of the other person to some extent, but they're also very clearly thinking about stuff that they'll like, too - which is fine, since they end up sharing all their toys anyway.

This past weekend was the Christmas pageant at church. Dante had decided a few weeks ago that he didn't want to do it (much to Gabe's dismay), but Gabe stuck with it, and was an angel who had one line to speak. He looked so adorable, and he did great. He said his line, stood very nicely where he was supposed to stand, and sang along with all the songs. It was really cute to watch. Hopefully next year we can get Dante to be in it, too.

I was pretty much done shopping a few weeks ago, but as always, there were some last-minute things that I forgot about, so I got half of them bought today, and will finish up the last couple of things tomorrow, and then that is IT! I spent the rest of this afternoon wrapping. Scott took the day off today, and he took Dante out for the afternoon, and Carmine took a 2-hour nap, so I just wrapped and wrapped and wrapped.

I was very proud of myself, too, when I looked at the stuff I got for the boys, and realized that I actually bought them much less this year than I did the past couple of years. I absolutely love buying them stuff, and I have a hard time holding back, but they really and truly just do not need a lot of stuff, and I've spent so much time this fall and winter getting rid of stuff that they never play with, I just don't want to end up right back where I was, feeling buried in toy clutter.

I chose wisely, and got them stuff that I know they'll really like, and will get a lot of use out of, and I feel good about the amount of toys they'll have to open. It's enough that it will be fun and exciting for them, but not so much that they'll be totally overwhelmed - a very good plan, I think, especially since Dante's birthday is just three days later!

Holiday baking is done, too - Lemon wreath cookies, chocolate gingerbread bark, chocolate pecan meringues, cranberry coins, and chocolate raspberry thumbprint cookies. And for our Christmas day dessert I'm making eggnog pound cake and a pear/almond tart. I am really looking forward to all the eating!

Carmine is walking, walking, walking, and walking some more. He doesn't even do much crawling anymore, and is already trying to stand up without holding onto anything. I think it'll be a little while before he masters that skill, but he's getting around just fine - and subsequently getting into everything, and I'm realizing that I need to start telling him "no," especially since electrical cords have become one of his favorite things to play with.

He's really getting vocal, too. Still not saying any actual words, but he has entire conversations with us just by grunting and saying "da" and "ga" and making all sorts of other adorable noises. He absolutely adores Gabe and Dante, and loves nothing more than sitting on the living room floor and playing with them. He's so thrilled just to sit and watch them play, and pick up one of their toys and chew on it, and yell and gesture like he's part of their game. Sometimes they get annoyed with him when he knocks stuff over, but other times they egg him on, and they all end up giggling hysterically at the huge mess he's making - no greater sound in the world : )

Continuing to make really good progress with the injury - so much so that I've decided to cut back to only running 2 times a week, instead of 3. Why cut back when I'm making progress? I figure that if I can run 3 times a week and still make progress, then if I only run 2 times a week, the progress I make will be that much more dramatic. So I'm being very disciplined and savoring every single step of those twice-weekly runs, and enjoying all the cross-training, too.

I'm now a regular (three weeks and counting) at a Friday morning yoga class at the Y, and I'm loving it. It's exactly the kind of class I was looking for - relaxing and calming, but a decent workout, too. And I'm going to try to get to a spinning class once a week, too. And of course still doing the elliptical and some weight training, and swimming here and there. I'd love to say I'm swimming regularly, but I know myself, and I know I'm just not going to swim regularly until it gets closer to triathlon time.

So that's where we are. Finishing up the final preparations, counting down with much anticipation, and looking forward to a fabulous holiday with our families.

November Stuff

We are constantly telling the boys that their actions have consequences, and I am currently having to face up to that reality myself, as my rehabilitation of this incredibly persistent injury has again settled into a pattern of 'one step forward, two steps back.' 

I got to week three of my return-to-running plan, and started to again feel some pain. So back to PT I went. I'm trying a different place this time - not because I didn't like the last place I went, but because I think it's good to get another opinion, and try another approach.

The approach we're going to try includes cold laser therapy, deep tissue massage, and of course some strenghtening/stretching. I'm really excited to try the cold laser therapy, as I've read so many good things about it.

I'm also going to finally look into getting custom orthotics. I've always considered that a last resort, but they've now been recommended to me by three different professionals, so I think it's time. I have an appt. in early December to get fitted and discuss the process.

In the meantime, I am still able to run - just not very much. My instructions, per PT, were to run only if it's pain-free. As of right now that means a few miles 2 or 3 times a week. And really, I'm ok with that, because it's a LOT better than not running at all. I'm even going to be able to run the Mews 5K this weekend, which I'm really, really looking forward to, since it's been over two months since I last raced.

I'm hopeful that the very low mileage, and the new PT approach, and the orthotics, will all combine to help me kick this injury to the curb once and for all. I know that long-distance running is not going to be in my immediate future, and that's ok. I hope to get back to it eventually, but for now, the goal is just to run without pain!

In addition to all of the above, I'm also making a concerted effort to get yoga back into my life. I was going to jump right into a hot yoga class that a few friends of mine have been taking (and are totally addicted to), but I chickened out and decided to start with some regular yoga classes first. It's been a while since I did any yoga at all, and although I stretch every time I workout, it's not enough, and my flexibility is subpar at best.

So I finally took a class at the Y this past weekend, and it was great - just challenging enough (there were a few poses that I did not even attempt, and some that I was able to hold only briefly) that I felt like I got a great workout, but got the calming/centering that I'm seeking, too. I was pleasantly surprised at how strong I felt, doing some of the more challenging poses. Strength is definitely not something I'm lacking, given how much time I've spent lifting weights during my running hiatus - but I have PLENTY of room for improvement when it comes to balance and flexibility.

So, all things considered, the running is going pretty well. I'm still managing to cruise along at a pace just over 8-minute miles, and that pace feels very comfortable, so I think I'll have a good race this Sunday. I know I shouldn't go all out, and I won't, but it is a race, and it is the first race I've run in since August, so I've got a lot of pent up energy that will be very difficult to contain!

In other news, my baby is becoming quite the big boy. He is chowing down on solid foods! He gobbles up his pureed fruits and veggies, and is now rather good at picking up and eating quite a few finger foods - Cheerios, diced banana and ripe pear, and his new favorite - cheese. He loves to eat!

Tonight I took a few pieces of the boys' mac & cheese and broke them up, and he ate a few small pieces of that and seemed to enjoy it. I'm still super paranoid about choking, since he is still new to all this, but I'm getting a little more comfortable giving him new stuff to try. I gave him a few small pieces of a cereal bar this morning, and he liked it at first, but then started making funny faces - I think he thought the strawberry filling was actually too sweet!

He's still nursing quite a bit, but one day last week we were out and about for most of the late morning and afternoon, and when we got home, I realized that it had been nearly six hours since I last nursed him!  If we had been home that whole time, I don't think that ever would have happened, but since he was distracted by us being out, it wasn't even an issue.

There are actually lots of times, particularly in the late afternoon, when I don't think that he truly needs to eat, but he wants to nurse more for comfort, and I am not about to deny him. I want to keep nursing him as long as possible, and I love knowing that I can provide both that nourishment and that comfort for him.

Especially now that I'm faced with his 10-month birthday next week, and then the 11-month, and then before you know it, the big One, I just can't quite believe that my little baby is not going to be a little baby much longer, and I want to do everything I can to hold onto that babyness for as long as it lasts.

I'm completely ok with not having any more babies. I love our family just the way it is, and I feel it's complete. But it's still a little sad to think about that phase of our life ending. Which is why, every night wehn I put Carmine to bed, after he's done nursing and has fallen asleep, I sit in the dark room and hug him to me, and watch his peaceful sleeping face - because there is nothing in the world quite like it.

41 Weeks And Three Days - And To Think I Was Worried About Making It Past 34 Weeks

Unfortunately, nothing much to report over here. No further contractions, nothing going on. 

I really didn't expect to be at prenatal yoga on Sunday, but since there was nothing happening, I figured I might as well go, and I'm glad I did. It definitely helped me feel better mentally and emotionally, and was just very relaxing and peaceful - something I can really use right now. The instructor was pretty surprised to see me, as were the other regulars in the class. 

We had a nice visit with Grammy and Grampy in the afternoon - it was nice for the boys to see them, and nice that they were able to come up for some time with just the boys, before the focus shifts to the baby. 

So here we are at 41 weeks and 3 days, and I had another appointment this morning. Another non-stress test and ultrasound, during which the baby looked perfect - moved around a ton, heartbeat sounded great, and amniotic fluid level is normal. 

I'm still at about 4 cm, and baby's head is at about -1, which is good. Once again, all systems are go - if I would just start having some contractions already! 

I have another appointment scheduled for Thursday. I really, really, really, really hope it isn't necessary, but if it is, that's when we'll start making a plan for some sort of induction. The one bit of hope I'm holding onto at this point is that if we do end up in that situation, my midwife told me that rather than going straight to pitocin, they could admit me and break my water and see if that's enough to get labor started. 

Still not as good as going into labor naturally, but definitely a better alternative to pitocin, so if that's what it comes down to, we'll try that first for sure. 

Physically I'm really feeling fine - no more uncomfortable or achy than I've felt in the past 4 or 5 weeks. I haven't gained any more weight at my last few appointments, probably because I'm really only able to eat normally at breakfast and lunch - by the time dinner rolls around, my stomach is so full that I can't eat much, so my dinners have been very light. 

Emotionally, it's just a lot of up and down. There are times where I'm fine, and other times where I get totally discouraged and frustrated and anxious. I never got this far along when I was pregnant with Gabe - he was born right at 41 weeks - and only made it to 34 weeks with Dante, so being this far overdue is a real eye-opener. 

We're working on many of the natural methods that supposedly can induce labor, and none of them have worked thus far, but we'll keep trying. I have an appointment for acupuncture on Wednesday, and truthfully, that's the method I have the most faith in, so hopefully if I make it to Wednesday, that might be the thing that finally gets this baby moving. 

In the meantime, the boys are keeping us plenty busy. Busy driving us crazy, too, since Scott and I are both pretty on edge. They have been doing a surprisingly good job of playing together nicely, though, and yesterday they even played together on one floor of the house while I cleaned on the other floor, and a good 40 minutes went by without a single fight! I was shocked - and thrilled! 

And one time when I stopped to eavesdrop on them, I heard Gabe saying to Dante "Well, sometimes it's a little frustrating for Mom and Dad, because the baby's coming soon."  They definitely are picking up on the tension. 

Gabe told us some funny jokes yesterday, too, all of which involved chickens. An example of his idea of a 'joke' - "How does a doctor wear sunglasses in the summer? Answer: On a chicken."  He cracks himself up.

Nothing New To Report

Just biding our time over here. Ran some errands yesterday, spent some quality time with the boys, and went for a long (very chilly) walk in the morning. I saw a lot of runners while I was walking, and I have to admit, I'm really starting to miss it now, which isn't surprising, since it's been 10 weeks since I last ran. 

Late pregnancy is definitely uncomfortable in many, many ways, but I can deal with all those aches and pains just fine - what's hardest for me is feeling so unfit - I literally get winded just from walking up the stairs. And I know I'm still healthier than lots of pregnant women, since I have done a pretty decent job of keeping up with working out, even in these final weeks, but it's hard to feel that way when the simplest activities can prove so challenging. 

I just keep trying to remember that I'll be back at it as soon as I get the all-clear from my midwives, and despite how crazy our lives are bound to be with THREE kids to take care of, getting back to running and racing and all the other stuff I love to do will be a priority. My sanity is going to depend on it! 

I managed to haul my oversized self to prenatal yoga this morning, and it was a challenging workout, being as big as I am, but it felt great. And it was so peaceful and relaxing - I'm glad I had time to get in one last class. I suppose there's a chance I could go again next Sunday, if I make it to 41 weeks, but I'm hoping that doesn't happen. 

We'll just have to see what the week brings. As of right now, I'm planning a trip to the nail salon Wednesday for a mani/pedi, and a foot massage, which would involve massage of some pressure points around the ankle that are reported to be helpful in inducing labor. And Thursday I have an appointment for acupuncture. And I'll get out and do lots of walking, too - it's supposed to be a slightly warmer week, which will be nice - it was only in the 20s yesterday morning, so temperatures in the 30s will feel downright balmy. 

I have varying degrees of belief in all of these supposed labor inducing methods, but I feel that it definitely can't hurt to try, and if nothing else, it's certainly a great excuse to get a manicure and pedicure! And going out for the walks is a nice little escape for me, so I'm happy to keep up with that.

Friday I have my 41-week appointment, which includes an ultrasound and non-stress test. And if I do make it to that appointment, the topic of induction will at least be discussed. If baby is still healthy and doing well, nothing would be scheduled right away - I think they'd let me go right to 42 weeks, if all is well - but it will at least be brought up as a possibility. 

But with any luck, we won't even get that far!  

On another note - the boys played SO nicely together all weekend. It was almost a little eery. But the more I think about it, I think that it isn't so surprising. All the insanity leading up to the holidays is incredibly fun, and they love it, but I think it's stressful for them, too, the same way it becomes stressful for us. And with all that stress and craziness, it's no wonder they did a lot of bickering in the weeks leading up to the holiday - and in the vacation week afterward. 

But now that things are back to normal, they're both so much calmer and, like I said, playing so nicely together. It's a very nice change of pace, and reminds me that although there are times I wonder what on EARTH we were thinking having two kids less than 2 years apart, there are some really wonderful benefits to it. 

But I am glad we waited a little longer before the third!!! 

Why It's Good To Ask Questions

So I went in for my routine 36-week appointment on Friday, and was surprised to be told that I was being placed in the 'high-risk' category, and would be required to come in for twice-weekly ultrasounds and non-stress tests for the remainder of my pregnancy. 

This all stemmed from some bloodwork that was done many months ago, after I had the second miscarriage. They tested me for two blood clotting disorders, and the results were a little unusual - in order to actually have either of these disorders, you have to have two abnormal genes for each. But in my case, I have one abnormal gene for each of the two disorders. Odd, yes, but the bottom line is that it really doesn't mean much of anything. That's what I was told, anyway, and so I didn't think it would even be an issue, and it hadn't been, until Friday. 

As I often do, while at the appointment, I simply agreed to what they were suggesting, and didn't even think to question it. I was too busy being annoyed that I was going to have to make the trip up to Providence twice a week for what would end up being nearly 2-hour appointments, and would have to try to find someone to watch Dante - or find some way to keep him entertained for 2 hours at the doctor's office (not a fun prospect). 

But then when I got home, I started thinking about it more, and realizing that it all seemed kind of crazy and unnecessary, and that I should have found out more about why exactly they were ordering these tests, and what it was they were looking for. And after talking with our doula, I was even more convinced that I needed to call the office to talk to them about it more and figure out what was going on. 

So this morning I did just that, and was able to speak to my regular midwife (the one who I've seen for almost all of my regular appointments), who was surprised and actually seemed a little annoyed that this had all happened. 

She confirmed that I do not have any kind of blood clotting disorder, and that there's absolutely no reason I should be considered high-risk, and no reason for me to go through all that testing. As she pointed out, if there was any kind of problem like that, she never would have cleared me for delivering in the hospital's Alternative Birthing Center (where I hope to labor, as long as it's available). But there is no problem, there will be no testing, and I am NOT high-risk. I am, however, very relieved.  

Apparently the midwife I saw on Friday was not familiar with my case, and is also a bit new to the practice, and when she saw the stuff about the bloodwork, she consulted with the doctors in the practice, who recommended the testing, and she went along with it. I'm not sure why she consulted with the doctors, rather than the other midwives in the practice, but the whole experience was a good reminder for me that I need to be proactive and advocate for myself and not just blindly agree to everything that the doctors and/or midwives recommend. 

So that's the latest baby news - and thankfully all's well that ends well!  The rest of the appointment on Friday was very routine - baby's heartrate is good, my blood pressure is great, and I'm on track to probably gain just over 35 pounds, which is just a teensy bit over the recommended weight gain, so I'm feeling perfectly fine with that. 

I spent most of the weekend feeling kind of sluggish, but I did manage to get out for a walk Saturday morning, because the midwife suggested that the issues I've been having with restless leg syndrome at night might be related to not getting enough exercise. And when I thought about it, I realized the problems started not long after I came down with the awful cold that dragged on and on and left me even more exhausted than usual, keeping me from doing much working out at all for the past week or two.

And since I walked Saturday, did yoga yesterday, and then walked again this morning, I've been feeling so much better overall - and am sleeping better, too. So hopefully I can continue to stay active enough these last few weeks to keep the restless legs away. 

I really needed the yoga, too. I missed it last week, and I definitely noticed a difference. I was more irritable last week, and just felt 'off.'  But after class, I felt better, and have continued to feel better since. I even had a huge burst of energy today and cleaned the entire house and made a pot of chicken soup. 

Of course now I'm paying for it, as my back is aching, but it felt good to get the house clean. The nesting is still going strong, and I'm beginning to have that feeling of "I better get this done now, because I could be having a baby any minute....." 

And oddly enough, Dante seems to have gotten the impression that the baby is going to hatch out of a giant egg, because he asked me earlier tonight (after I received a kick to the ribs that was hard enough to make me say "ouch!") if the baby was trying to "crack out of there." 

No clue where he got this idea, as we've read numerous 'where babies come from' books, but it's pretty amusing, anyway.....

We finally got our tree on Saturday, and after a mishap with a leaking tree stand, and a run to the store to buy a new tree stand, we got it decorated on Sunday, so the house if officially decked out for the holidays. I wish I could have put out more of my decorations, but climbing on a ladder to put stuff up above the kitchen cabinets is just not doable for me right now. And I also don't want to deal with putting away a ton of stuff in January - we're going to be busy enough as it is! 

The boys are just crazy excited, and I'm really glad Christmas is next week. I think their heads are going to explode if the excitement were to last much longer than that. We recorded all the Christmas classics on the DVR, so they're constantly watching Christmas movies, and constantly singing Christmas carols, and counting down the days. 

They picked out their presents for each other, and they both did a great job, I think. Dante got Gabe a small Star Wars lego piece, and Gabe got Dante the game 'Operation." I think they'll both be very happy with each other's choices, and it was fun to shop with them. Tough to keep them within the $10 limit, though - all the 'really cool' toys were WAY more than $10! 

And I'm just hoping the baby doesn't decide to arrive until after the holiday. December 26th would be fine - I just don't want a repeat of 4 years ago, when I spent Christmas day in the hospital. It's out of our hands, obviously, but hopefully he/she can hang tight for at least 12 more days.....